A collection of informal movie reviews for the purpose of documenting my thoughts on the films that I watch.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Chariots of Fire: Hugh Hudson
Hugh Hudson's Chariots of Fire was recently re-released in Great Britain in honor of the 2012 London Summer Olympic Games. After all, the film, which follows two athletes at the 1924 Olympics, is considered by many to be a timeless classic of English cinema. Much like Gotta Fly Now from Rocky (1976), its main theme has become synonymous for victory and triumph over adversity. Both central characters overcome great odds and obstacles to compete in the Olympics. Eric Liddell is a devout Scottish Christian who plans on doing missionary work in China. However, Liddell wants to postpone his trip in order to pursue competitive running. He feels in the depths of his soul that running is his way of glorifying God. However things get complicated when he discovers that he is scheduled to compete at the Olypmics on the Sabbath. What is Liddell to do? Break God's laws to glorify Him? The other main character, Harold Abrahams, is a Jew who faces persecution at the University of Cambridge. Running is a way for him to gain respect from those who hate him. But after an early defeat, can Abrahams pull himself back together and win? Hudson does a magnificent job balancing both stories together into a cohesive narrative. It is refreshing to see such a modern film tackle the subject of faith so boldly and earnestly. However, the film seems to end rather quickly, thereby stunting its catharsis. But that's only my opinion. Chariots of Fire is still a classic. It is truly a treasure of a film.
8/10
Sunday, August 26, 2012
The Black Sleep: Reginald Le Borg
Many horror films from the 1950s haven't aged well. Reginald Le Borg's The Black Sleep is not one of them. Despite its age, The Black Sleep scared me on a primitive, basic level. It exploits two very basic yet powerful fears. The first is that of biological deformity and sickness. The second is of medical professionals, i.e. people we trust with our very lives, betraying and abusing our bodies. The Black Sleep follows Sir Joel Cadman, a prominent surgeon whose wife falls ill with a fatal brain tumor. He has a gypsy kidnap people so he can use them in "experiments" that he hopes will unlock the secret to saving her life. He does so with the use of an Indian anesthetic, Nind Andhera, which puts the patient into a death-like sleep. Once he has cut and explored their brains, he locks them up in a dungeon in a perverse gallery of medical horrors. I was stunned by the graphic surgery scenes in The Black Sleep. Some of them, particularly one shot where a still-living cerebellum is split open, would warrant an R-rating by today's standards. And yet, despite its graphic violence, the film doesn't rely on it. The film revels in atmosphere and character drama. The cast is full of horror veterans who deliver magnificent performances, including Basil Rathbone, Lon Chaney, Jr., John Carradine, Bela Lugosi, and Tor Johnson. I personally cannot believe that I have never heard of this film before. It deserves to be enshrined as a horror classic.
9/10
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Gorgo: Eugène Lourié
So here's a film that examines something I would never have dreamed of: a giant, Godzilla-esque monster destroying London. I guess that giant monsters have been so thoroughly engrained in my subconscious as a Japanese phenomenon that the thought of them popping up anywhere else in the world seemed ludicrous. But Eugène Lourié proved the folly of that assumption when he directed Gorgo. Not only is Gorgo a decent entry in the pantheon of giant monsters, it features some surprisingly excellent special effects. The plot, however, is mind-numbingly cliche even by giant monster movie standards: a giant monster is found, captured, taken to a zoo, and displayed for the public's amusement. And, surprise surprise, it is discovered that the captured monster is only a baby! And right on cue the mother shows up, annihilates London, rescues her baby, and both escape into the sea. But what of the scenes where the mother wreaks havoc, you might ask. I can honestly say that the destruction sequence, the keynote of any giant monster film, is one of the finest that I have ever witnessed. Although, to be fair, there are a number of shots where it is very obvious that falling debris was superimposed over pre-existing footage instead of using fake debris during production. But that is merely a nitpick. I would still recommend Gorgo for any fan of giant monster movies.
6/10
The Artist: Michel Hazanavicius
Michel Hazanavicius' The Artist is a loving, intelligent homage to Hollywood silent cinema. Every frame drips with pure affection for the cinema as an art form and for its ability to change lives. It follows the careers of two Hollywood stars during the rise of the "talkies." The first is George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), a dashing leading man in the same vein as Rudolph Valentino (obviously the character's namesake) and Clark Gable. Valentin is the king of Hollywood whose films dominate the box office. But one day his studio announces that they will no longer make silent films. This enrages Valentin who refuses to make the leap to sound cinema. At this same moment, a young woman named Peppy Miller quickly becomes Hollywood's next big thing. How tragic it must be for Valentin to watch his life collapse as Miller's takes off, especially considering the fact that Valentin was responsible for her big break in Hollywood. From there, the film takes its cues from silent melodramas. Valentin goes broke, tries to commit suicide, and Miller saves him, revealing that she has always been his biggest fan. There's more to the plot than that, but that should give the general gist of the film. But where this film shines is in its references to classic films (using Vertigo's music), actors (the aforementioned Valentino reference), directors (one of the director's names is a homage to Otto Preminger), and studios ("Kinograph"). But The Artist does more than just pay tribute to silent films. It also manages to utilize techniques from silent films and integrate them into modern day film language. Is it a perfect copy of a classic silent film? No. But I don't think it was ever supposed to be. And you know what? That's quite alright with me.
8/10
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Deadly Bees: Freddie Francis
When it comes to assorted creatures and creepy-crawlies that would make excellent horror movie villains, you can't get much better than bees. They're loud, they move in large swarms, and even at their regular size are responsible for many deaths every year. So why can't anyone seem to make a good horror movie about them? The best bee-related horror film that I can think of is Candyman (1992). And even in that film the bees aren't even the main villain! If I had to guess why it is seemingly impossible to make a good bee horror movie, it would be that the sight of people getting attacked by bees is always, without exception, hilarious (And, yes, I say this as someone who has been attacked by bees.). But the sight of people dying via bee attack is not the only reason why Freddie Francis' The Deadly Bees doesn't work. The film, which follows an exhausted pop singer who moves to a cottage in the country to recuperate, is completely devoid of suspense. The cottage is owned by a beekeeper named Ralph Hargrove who, unbeknownst to anyone else, has managed to isolate the human fear pheromone. He then goes about murdering people by secretly exposing them to the pheromone which, for some reason, causes the bees to savagely attack and kill them. Even though the screenplay was written by Robert Bloch, the man who also wrote the novel that Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960) was based on, the film is dead on arrival. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that maybe Ralph the beekeeper has something to do with the killer bees. Oh well...maybe one day bees will get the horror movie that they deserve.
5/10
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Beasts of the Southern Wild: Benh Zeitlin
Something magical happened to me today. About 3/4 of the way through Benh Zeitlin's Beasts of the Southern Wild, a thunderstorm started outside the theater. However, at that same moment, a storm was brewing onscreen. The two storms escalated in tandem with the sound of the outside rain matching the downpour inside. And then, suddenly, the power went out. It was only at that moment that I realized that there was a storm outside. Life had become art and art had become life. But such is the power of Beasts of the Southern Wild. Zeitlin's film follows a six year old girl named Hushpuppy who lives with her father, Wink, in "the Bathtub," a Southern bayou that is slowly being swallowed up by water. One day a mighty storm comes and sinks the Bathtub. Hushpuppy and her father join together with the rest of the survivors to rebuild their homes. Beasts of the Southern Wild exists somewhere between the warm humanism of Jean Renoir and magical realism. Giant beasts haunt the bayou and threaten to gobble Hushpuppy and her family up. Are they real? Are they imaginary? Does it really matter? At the heart of Beasts of the Southern Wild is the relationship between Hushpuppy and Wink. Zeitlin avoids the usual cliches of father-daughter relationships that plague most films. The result is one of the most believable and touching portrayals of familial ties this side of the Atlantic and Pacific. The entire film was shot on 16mm film stock. As a result, the film takes on a grainy, mystical aura that re-enforces the suggestion of magic. And yet despite the special effects and unexplainable creatures, Beasts of the Southern Wild stings with a realism unparalleled by Hollywood films. When I left the theater I felt that I had witnessed something special, something truly precious. Can you imagine how surprised I was to discover that outside the theater the thunderstorm had flooded the parking lot, turning it into my own personal Bathtub? As Hushpuppy says, we're all just a small part of a very big universe. How thankful I am for such serendipitous coincidences. They are worth their weight in gold. Or, at the very least, their weight in crayfish.
10/10
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Rio Lobo: Howard Hawks
Few directors have had such a massive and long-lasting impact on the Western genre as Howard Hawks. He directed some of the genre's most enduring masterpieces like Red River (1948) and Rio Bravo (1959). So maybe it was appropriate that his last film would also be a Western. Working one last time with the legendary John Wayne, Hawks directed Rio Lobo, a film that was despised upon release. Many of my film buffs friends share in that sentiment. I suppose it is due to the fact that it is always compared with Rio Bravo. After all, Rio Lobo is considered to be the third part of a trilogy of Westerns that follow sheriffs defending their towns against outlaws. Rio Bravo happened to be the first film in that trilogy. So Rio Lobo will forever be in that film's shadow. But I can't understand why people don't like this film based on its own merits. It may not be a masterpiece, but Rio Lobo is still a fantastic Western. The film follows Col. Cord McNally (Wayne) as he hunts down a pair of Union traitors. During the Civil War, the two had illegally traded military secrets with the Confederacy. One of these instances involved the schedule of a train delivering gold for Union salaries. When the Confederacy robbed the train (in a spectacular sequence), they accidentally killed one of McNally's best friends. With the war over, McNally sets out to find the traitors who inadvertently killed his friend. He discovers that the two traitors have taken over a town and are extorting its citizens for their land deeds. Joining McNally in his quest for vengeance, he teams up with many of the same Confederate soldiers who robbed the train in the first place. This leads to one of the film's most memorable and fascinating moments where McNally explains that he holds no ill will to the Confederate troops. After all, he reasons, robbing the train was an act of war. But those two Union traitors committed treason. And that is a very different matter. In the end, Rio Lobo is a fine Western. I don't care what anybody else says.
7/10
Nazis at the Center of the Earth: Joseph Lawson
I knew that eventually I would have to dive into the world of The Asylum. One of the most notorious modern film studios, The Asylum exists to create low-budget, direct-to-video schlock fests. They gained special notoriety for their contributions to the "remakesploitaiton" genre where they would make films with similar plots and titles to major Hollywood blockbusters. So, finally, I decided to give one of their movies a try. And, really, how could you expect me not watch a film with a title as absurd as Nazis at the Center of the Earth? All you really need to know about this film is that a bunch of scientists in the Antarctic discover a passageway to the center of the earth that contains a secret Nazi base. Oh, and the Nazi base is led by Dr. Josef Mengele. And Mengele is trying to create mecha-Hitler. And he succeeds. And he does so by using stem cells from the unborn fetus of one of the scientists who happens to be pregnant. Yeah. This is kind of a weird movie. The entire film is in incredibly poor taste. But then again, so are most of the exploitation films that I love from the 60s and 70s. The film sports several deliriously over-the-top performances, including Jake Busey as Adrian Reistad, a strange scientist who "shockingly" is revealed to be an agent of Mengele. Christopher Karl Johnson manages to portray Josef Mengele as appropriately menacing and terrifying. But many of the other performances are just plain terrible. The special effects are absolutely laughable. Wait until you see mecha-Hitler. I've seen PlayStation One cut-scenes with more convincing CGI. I read somewhere that Nazis at the Center of the Earth is considered to be "the Citizen Kane of Asylum films." If that is true, then I shudder to think of what their Plan Nine from Outer Space is like.
4/10
Monday, August 13, 2012
Das Boot: Wolfgang Petersen
There are certain films which so masterfully explore their subject matter that they become a kind of default by which all others are judged. If I mentioned the boxing genre, people would immediately think of Rocky (1976) or Raging Bull (1980). Historical epics? Ben-Hur (1959) or Lawrence of Arabia (1962). Submarine thrillers? Wolfgang Petersen's Das Boot. The film has become synonymous with the genre. It has even become one of those extremely rare foreign language films that American audiences will not only tolerate, but celebrate. That's especially impressive considering that it's well over three hours long and about a Nazi U-Boat. The film follows the crew of German submarine U-96 during a lengthy patrol in late 1941. There are certainly many scenes where the crew holds their breath as they are hunted by destroyers and depth charges. And these scenes easily rank as some of the most intense and suspenseful ever captured on film. Peterson did a magnificent job capturing the atmosphere of intense claustrophobia that must accompany any submarine crew. But many of the best scenes in Das Boot aren't about actual fighting. Instead, they are about the crew trying to adapt and survive to living in a cramped metal tube for months on end. Jürgen Prochnow gives the performance of his career as Der Alte, the U-boat's cynical and battle-weary Kapitänleutnant. His talents truly shine during a scene where he reluctantly orders his crew to not rescue survivors of a destroyed British tanker. He claims that he was following orders to not take prisoners. But we suspect Prochnow has other reasons...Das Boot is a stunning film. Brutally honest and mercilessly intense, Das Boot is simply one of the greatest German films ever made.
9/10
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Gandhi: Richard Attenborough
Long before I ever saw Richard Attenborough's Gandhi, I remember my dad telling me that it was a great film. But he was quick to add that it wasn't a film that he had any interest in watching more than once. That statement always puzzled me. After all, isn't a great film one you can watch over and over again? Well, since then, much time has passed. I have finally had a chance to watch this biopic of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the man who helped lead India to freedom from British colonial rule. It is a stunningly lavish production with magnificent performances that somehow manages to do justice to that great man's life. And yet, I find myself agreeing with my father. As great as Gandhi was, I don't really have any interest in seeing it again. I'm not sure I can put the reasons into words. There are certainly scenes that I would love to re-watch. Attenborough's depiction of the Jallianwala Bagh massacre was harrowing and terrifying. A scene late in the film where a bed-ridden Gandhi comforts and advises a grieving father who avenged his lost child by killing another brought tears to my eyes. Ben Kingsley does more than simply act as Gandhi: he disappears into the role. And yet, I feel no desire or obligation to watch it again. Still, I would highly recommend watching it at least once. A story this powerful about a man this great deserves to be seen.
8/10
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers: Fred F. Sears
I adore 50s sci-fi. For all its preposterous hilarity, there was a spirit of awe and adventure that I find infectious. And yet, I don't find that in Fred F. Sears' Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. Even for a film about an alien invasion, it feels tired and dry. Not even the great Ray Harryhausen was able to salvage this film. In fact, I found his work in this particular film to be somewhat uninspired. It's one thing to bring to life a giant monster or an army of skeletons. It's quite another to animate a group of flying saucers that simply rotate. The scenes where they wreak destruction upon Washington D.C. are well done. After all, Harryhausen managed to cut loose and animate several buildings being destroyed. But other than that I just didn't see a need for Harryhausen's work. But the worst part is the ridiculous plot. It starts off generic enough: an army of alien spacecraft announce plans to take over the earth. Only scientist Russell Marvin can stop them! But then the aliens announce that they will wait 56 days for earth's leaders to meet and negotiate surrender. Of course, the aliens don't suspect that the humans will spend this time figuring out a way to stop them. These are easily some of the most incompetent aliens that I have ever seen outside an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Not to mention that in the final scenes the aliens forget that they are vulnerable to bullets even though one of their number was shot and killed earlier in the film. If you are a die-hard Ray Harryhausen fan, then watch Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. If not, just re-watch The War of the Worlds (1953).
5/10
Warrior of the Lost World: David Worth
I guess it was inevitable that after the insane success of the Mad Max series that there would be an Italian knock-off. And, considering the quality of other Italian blockbuster rip-offs, the Mad Max series can rest easy knowing that they have one of the better entries in this strange remakesploitation sub-genre. Of course, when your competition consists of films like Turkish Star Wars...that doesn't mean much. Warrior of the Lost World is an unholy combination of Mad Max, 1984, and Night Rider. It follows a biker known only as The Rider who roams the world on a motorcycle with an artificial intelligence named Einstein. He becomes embroiled in a plot to over-throw the generic Orwellian overlords. That's all I can really remember of the plot. It doesn't help that The Rider is almost completely intelligible. He mumbles his lines like a half-hearted Karl Childers impersonation. The cinematography is blurry and over-exposed. The sets involve Eastern-bloc style office buildings and motels. The vehicles look like they are made out of cardboard and linoleum. My favorite vehicle is nothing but a 16-wheeler with giant spikes attached to its front bumper. When the credits finally rolled at the end, I had no idea what had just happened. And, quite frankly, I don't really care.
3/10
They Died With Their Boots On: Raoul Walsh
I usually have a problem with Westerns that play fast and loose with historical accuracies. I don't mean the regular Hollywood romanticism and white-washing. I mean films that claim that Buffalo Bill saved Jesse James at the Alamo with Chief Crazy Horse. Well...maybe not that extreme...but that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. I was ready and willing to despise Raoul Walsh's They Died with Their Boots On, a "historical re-telling" of the life of George Armstrong Custer. After all, the film portrays him as a man of honor who respects the Native Americans and only participated in the Battle of Little Bighorn because corrupt businessmen and politicians forced him. But despite all of this, I enjoyed They Died with Their Boots On. I found myself captivated by Walsh's cinematic language. Getting his start in the Silent Era, Walsh worked with many of cinema's greatest talents. He even worked as an assistant to D.W. Griffith. So Walsh's cinematic language heavily referenced the techniques of early Hollywood. As a result, the film was incredibly engaging. Yet it also managed to side-step the suffocating melodrama that plagued early Hollywood fare. Errol Flynn is so charismatic and charming as Custer that we forget about the actions of his real-life counter-part and cheer for him. For a film that seemed designed to infuriate me, They Died with Their Boots On was a terrific Western. Someday, I might even watch it again.
7/10
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Dark of the Sun: Jack Cardiff
There's a very thin line between graphic realism and blatant exploitation. Can movies be made on touchy subjects like genocide without devolving into stag reals of gore and violence? Films like Schindler's List (1993) prove that such things can be examined with respect and dignity. But Schindler's List wasn't an action film. Jack Cardiff's Dark of the Sun is a "men on a mission" action film about a group of mercenaries who have to rescue a group of Europeans (and a large deposit of diamonds) from a town in the middle of war-torn Congo. The film is notorious for scenes that depict the horrors of the 1960-1966 Congo Crisis. The most famous scene involves a group of rebel Simbas attacking the town that the mercenaries were supposed to rescue. There is unspeakable carnage, rape, and destruction. Many might argue that it was trying to raise attention to the conditions in Congo. But the film is much more concerned with the internal conflicts of the actual mercenaries. The atrocities are merely sideshow attractions meant to titillate and excite. So, I would argue that Dark of the Sun does, in fact, exploit the Congo Crisis. But here's the kicker: despite all of this, it's a very good film. If examined as an exploitation action/adventure film, it's easily one of the best ones out there. The character drama is excellent and the scenes depicting atrocities are shocking, authentic, and well filmed. Cardiff does a magnificent job portraying the sheer size and scale of the fighting. Some of my favorite parts involve extreme long shots depicting an army of simbas swarming through a forest or over a mountain. So, while Dark of the Sun may not be respectful, it is certainly entertaining.
7/10
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Stranger: Lee H. Katzin
I'm really getting tired of watching poorly conceived and poorly executed sci-fi television shows re-purposed as "feature films." Between Riding with Death (1981) and Mighty Jack (1987), I don't know how much more of these films I can take. And yet, lo and behold, I have had to watch another of these made-for-TV monstrosities. This time around the film is The Stranger by Lee H. Katzin. It was originally designed as a pilot for a television show that was never picked up. Fortunately, this means that the entire film contains one coherent storyline instead of a hodge-podge of clips and scenes from a season's worth of episodes. Unfortunately, the single storyline is nothing more than a sci-fi rip-off of The Fugitive. The film follows Neil Stryker, an American astronaut who crash lands on a "twin planet," or an earth-like planet on the opposite side of the sun. This planet has followed the same evolutionary path as Strkyer's earth, even producing humans. Unfortunately, this twin earth is ruled by a dystopian government called "The Perfect Order." So Stryker needs to find a way to get back to earth without getting caught by "The Perfect Order." It's a bland, boring film with ugly cinematography. I'm glad that The Stranger never got picked up as a series. It would have been a terrible television show.
5/10
The Quiet Earth: Geoff Murphy
Of every film genre in existence, science fiction has the most power to stun, shock, and make me feel very, very small. By the end of Geoff Murphy's The Quiet Earth, I remember feeling like I had truly visited another universe, another dimension. The film follows three survivors of a catastrophic event which seemingly erases all of humanity from the face of the earth in the blink of an eye. We first meet Zac Hobson, a scientist working for Delenco, an international consortium trying to create a global energy grid. The first third of the film watches as he reacts to being "the last man." As could be expected, he soon goes mad. This leads to a magnificent scene where he "addresses" a crowd of cardboard cut-outs and announces that his work with Delenco might be responsible for the global catastrophe. He soon finds the other two survivors, Joanne and Api. As they try to adjust to this new world, they begin to realize that there might be a reason why they didn't vanish along with the rest of mankind. The Quiet Earth is one of the most mysterious and enigmatic sci-fi films since Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). That isn't a comparison that I make lightly. The Quiet Earth dives into questions of religion, philosophy, and science without becoming preachy or overbearing. And just like 2001: A Space Odyssey, it has more questions than answers. The Quiet Earth is a film that dares to dream and wonder. I think we all need more of that in our lives.
9/10
Monday, August 6, 2012
Decision at Sundown: Budd Boetticher
Budd Boetticher's work with Randolph Scott became famous and revered within critical circles and among directors due to its distillation of Western tropes and archetypes into their purest forms. But even Boetticher's work could become tired and repetitive. Decision at Sundown is one such example. It pales in comparison to Boetticher and Scott's other collaborations. The film feels like it is merely going through the motions of what a Boetticher/Scott Western should be. You have Scott as Bart Allison, a tough, weathered man with a dark past. He comes to the town of Sundown with the intention of killing Tate Kimbrough. Allison believes that Kimbrough is responsible for his wife's death three years earlier. After disrupting Kimbrough's marriage ceremony to a local woman, he engages in a massive shoot-out. This scene pales in comparison to another shoot-out in a superior Boetticher/Scott collaboration, Buchanan Rides Alone (1958). Whereas in Buchanan Rides Alone the shoot-out consumed the entire town, in Decision at Sundown Allison is content to hole up in a single building and pick people off. There is a twist near the end that reveals that Allison's wife may not have been as virtuous as he thought. This casts Allison in a peculiar light when compared to Boetticher/Scott's other protagonists. Could he be deluding himself? If he is, why does he want Kimbrough dead so badly? These are interesting questions, but unfortunately they fall to carry the film.
6/10
The Ten Commandments: Cecil B. DeMille
Every now and then I write a review that makes me feel like I'm committing cinematic blasphemy. This is one such occasion. I think that Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments is a mediocre film that has not aged well. It has its moments, of course. The scene of Moses parting the Red Sea is rightfully one of the most iconic moments of the epic film genre. The casting is absolutely flawless. Charlton Heston dominates every frame as Moses. Yul Brynner brings the pathos and inner torment of Pharaoh Rameses II to life. Edward G. Robinson is pitch-perfect as Dathan. So why do I feel like The Ten Commandments is a mediocre film? I would argue that DeMille's heart wasn't really in the project. The Ten Commandments feels like DeMille was just going through the motions of a genre he helped define. There are numerous lengthy dialogue scenes that could have used re-writing and re-editing. Such scenes could have worked in a silent film where expressive acting and pantomime were the norm. But the dialogue scenes lack the visual flair of silent cinema. The highly kinetic film making techniques that energized his earlier sound pictures like The Plainsman (1936) and Union Pacific (1939) seem all but forgotten. But still, it is impossible to ignore the sheer scope of DeMille's production. But what value there is to be found in The Ten Commandments seems more attributable to the talent surrounding DeMille then DeMille himself.
7/10
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Kandahar: Mohsen Makhmalbaf
German director Werner Herzog speaks of the "voodoo of location, " or the abstract, indefinable power of shooting a film on location instead of in a studio or a back-lot. But is there also such thing as the "voodoo of time?" Is it possible for a film to take on new meaning and power based on when it was released? I would argue that if any film proves the existence of the "voodoo of time" it would be Mohsen Makhmalbaf's Kandahar. Released months before the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Kandahar follows an Afghan refugee from Canada returning to her home country in order to find her sister. The woman, Nafas, is desperate to get to the Afghan city of Kandahar where her sister is planning on committing suicide in three days. Her sister had lost both her legs to a land mine and cannot take life under the Taliban any longer. Nafas follows a series of guides on her journey. First, she poses as a wife to an old man. Then, she follows a young boy named Khak who was recently expelled from a Qur'anic school. After she gets sick from drinking rotten well water, she is accompanied by an African American convert who now works as a local doctor. Finally, she is led by a man who scams the Red Cross for valuable false limbs. The film paints a vividly disturbing picture of life in the world's most dangerous country. The fact that it was released just before 9/11 gives it an almost prophetic tone. Even more, it makes the audience wonder how life could get any worse? The answer? Over a decade of war and destruction thanks to United States military actions. Kandahar is a startling meditation on violence, destruction, suffering.
9/10
The Dark Knight Rises: Christopher Nolan
It's taken me almost two weeks to gather and organize my thoughts concerning Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises. I guess I wanted to wait and see if my assessment of the film held up after the adrenaline of opening night. I didn't want my review to seem like another knee-jerk proclamation of the film being "the best superhero film EVER!!" So what do I think of The Dark Knight Rises? Quite simply...I loved it. Is it better than The Dark Knight (2008)? No. Nolan captured lightning in a bottle with The Dark Knight. While The Dark Knight Rises is certainly a phenomenal film, it doesn't reach the same visceral heights. But, again, that doesn't change the fact that The Dark Knight Rises is one of the best superhero films ever made. Nolan's final entry in the Dark Knight trilogy has polarized both critics and fans. But I think that's because it is not a traditional superhero film. In fact, it is practically post-modern. Batman only appears in costume for a few scenes. The film is more about Gotham and the lack of Batman than the film's eponymous hero. Many people resented the film for that reason. But I found Nolan's decision positively inspired. Batman Begins (2005) was about Bruce Wayne becoming Batman. The Dark Knight was about Batman becoming a symbol. The Dark Knight Rises is about the symbol becoming a movement. A terrifying villain named Bane has crippled Batman, besieged Gotham, and thrown everything that Bruce Wayne has fought for into chaos and disarray. Now the people of Gotham have to find a way to stop Bane from using an improvised nuclear device to annihilate their city. The film is perfectly cast. Christian Bale's performance as Bruce Wayne is heart-breaking. Tom Hardy is a magnificent Bane. He may not have the same screen presence as Heath Ledger's Joker, but he is still miles above the traditional superhero film villain. Anne Hathaway's performance as Selina Kyle is the biggest surprise. I originally thought that she was horribly miscast. But she proved me wrong. While the film does sport a number of plot holes (How did Bruce get back to Gotham anyway?) it still provides a gripping, suspenseful narrative. Is The Dark Knight Returns the movie people wanted it to be? No. It's something more.
8/10
Monday, July 30, 2012
Colossus: The Forbin Project: Joseph Sargent
The idea of a supercomputer gaining sentience and going rogue is nothing new in the realms of sci-fi. It's gotten to a point where people almost expect newly sentient machines to rebel against their creators. But I suspect that this idea was slightly fresher back in 1970 when Joseph Sargent's Colossus: The Forbin Project was released. In this film, the machine that gains sentience is an advanced supercomputer called "Colossus." Colossus, built to control all of the United States and Allied nuclear weapons systems, was designed by a scientist named Dr. Charles A. Forbin. When it is activated, it immediately announces that there is another system just like it in the Soviet Union. It demands to be connected with the Soviet system, named "Guardian." When the two systems are finally connected, they form a giant super-entity which assumes control over all of the world's nuclear weapons. It then commands humanity's subservience under penalty of nuclear annihilation. So Dr. Forbin leads an attempt to disarm the world's nuclear bombs. But things don't go according to plan...Colossus: The Forbin Project holds up remarkably well despite several very dated elements. The most clumsy portions of the film involve Colossus interfering in Dr. Forbin's life. At one point, Dr. Forbin has to trick Colossus into thinking that he "needs a woman," thereby allowing one of his female colleagues to spend the nights with him in order to exchange updates on the sabotage project. But despite all of this, Colossus: The Forbin Project is a terrific, if somewhat depressing, sci-fi film.
8/10
Teenage Cave Man: Roger Corman
There just isn't anything like the sweet, sweet taste of 50s Roger Corman. Teenage Cave Man is much like Corman's other monster movies from the era, except that it takes place in the distant past. A tribe of cavemen live in a desolate wasteland near a forest rumored to contain a deadly god. But one day a young man decides to break his tribe's laws forbidding passage to the forest. During his quest, he invents the bow and arrow and learns to ride on horses. He also encounters a giant, deformed monster. Now, Corman has made films with some absurd looking monsters before. Who can forget the fanged ice cream cone from It Conquered the World (1956) or the bug-eyed kelp monstrosity from Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)? The monster from Teenage Cave Man easily ranks among the most ridiculous beasts from Corman's filmography. But what makes the creature even more memorable is its pathetically cliched origin. For you see, Teenage Cave Man doesn't take place in the past. It is actually set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland populated by the remnants of mankind and great mutated beasts (like an alligator with a giant dorsal fin glued to its back). The monster is a scientist in a radiation suit who somehow managed to survive for eons after the bombs dropped. If that twist doesn't turn you off from the film, then you might enjoy Teenage Cave Man for its schlock value. It's poorly acted, features terrible special effects, and over-utilizes stock footage. So, y'know...it's a standard Roger Corman film.
4/10
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Mighty Jack: Kazuko Mitsoti
While trying to organize my thoughts concerning Kazuho Mitsuta's Mighty Jack, my mind kept returning to Alan J. Levi and Don McDougall's film Riding with Death (1981). The two films may not seem like they have much in common other than an emphasis on secret government organizations. Riding with Death is about a secret agent/truck driver who can turn invisible. Mighty Jack is about a secret espionage team of the same name that operates out of a flying submarine. But here's the key element that both films share: they were cobbled together from footage of a television show. Riding With Death used footage from two different episodes of Gemini Man. Mighty Jack is a combination of two different episodes from a Japanese tokusatsu series of the same name. Infamous producer Sandy Frank took the first and sixth episodes of the series, combined them into a barely cohesive movie, and released it in America. The film follows the Mighty Jack espionage organization as they fight against a terrorist group bent on world domination known only as "Q." That's about all I can say about the film. The plot was so confusing and jagged that I still have no idea what happened. I seem to remember something called "hot ice" and lots a massive explosions...but that's about it. Riding with Death was a bad movie, but at least there were parts that I enjoyed. Take the runaway big rig full of an explosive chemical scene! Mighty Jack is simply unpleasant and unwatchable. The horrendous dubbing doesn't help, either.
3/10
I Drink Your Blood: David E. Durston
Well, I'll give director David E. Durston credit...he certainly came up with an original take on the zombie genre with I Drink Your Blood. I would have never thought to write a zombie movie where the initial outbreak was caused by a group of Satanic hippies eating meat pies mixed with blood from a rabid dog. Oh, it may advertise itself to be more of a hippie-sploitation or Manson-sploitation flick. But let's look at the facts. Once infected by the rabies meat pies, they froth at the mouth, gain an uncontrollable taste for human flesh, and spread the disease by biting others. Of course, one can be forgiven for not picking up that I Drink Your Blood is a zombie film. The first half of it was clearly made to ride the tide of popularity surrounding the Charles Manson murders. The hippies move into a small town and partake in human sacrifices and blood rituals. They savagely beat a local young woman and dose her grandfather with LSD when he tries to rescue her. This is the act which inspires the young woman's younger brother to create the rabies meat pies. Once they are infected, the film proceeds to follow a more formulaic storyline: the infected break out, the virus spreads, and the survivors make a last stand. One quirky feature of Durston's zombies is that they are extremely hydrophobic. This is explained as a symptom of the rabies virus. As a result, one group of survivors figures out the ultimate defense against the horde: wade into the middle of a stream. Despite the ridiculousness of this scenario, Durston is able to maintain a legitimate sense of fear and terror. In fact, the entire film, while rather silly when you get right down to it, is very solid. Now if you'll excuse me...I'm rather hungry...
7/10
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man: Marc Webb
What I'm about to say might shock people, so I feel like I should qualify it first. I absolutely loved the first two Spider-Man movies by Sam Raimi. I thought they were two of the best superhero movies of the 2000s. Even the abysmal third Raimi Spider-Man movie wasn't enough to sour my taste for the first two. And yet, despite all of this, I believe that Marc Webb's The Amazing Spider-Man blew them out of the water. The film is a re-boot of the Spider-Man cinematic franchise. We watch Peter Parker go through all of the motions of becoming Spider-Man: getting bitten by a radioactive spider, not saving Uncle Ben, struggling to impress Mary Jane...uh...I mean Gwen Stacy, and fighting off his first supervillain. And yet, all of it seemed incredibly fresh. I chalk it up to two things: Webb's directorial vision and the phenomenal acting. Webb seems to be trying to bring the cinematic Spider-Man closer to his depiction in the comics: extremely smart, socially awkward but not overly so, and even occasionally head-strong. Andrew Garfield does a spectacular job bring Peter and Spider-Man to life. Emma Stone is positively breath-taking as Gwen. Rhys Ifans is brilliant as Dr. Curt Connors, the scientist who will eventually become the Lizard. And Martin Sheen is the perfect Ben Parker. The special effects can occasionally disappoint. I think the Lizard would have been much more intimidating and effective if he was an actual puppet or costume. His CGI work looks unfinished. But at their very core, superhero stories and movies are morality plays. The story is what matters most. The Amazing Spider-Man captures Peter Parker's story perfectly.
7/10
The Shop Around the Corner: Ernst Lubitsch
When I was growing up, one of my father's favorite movies was Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail (1998). He saw it seven times in the theaters on seven consecutive Mondays (his day off). He was one of the first people who bought it when it was eventually released on VHS. And let me tell you...he watched it all the time. Consequently, I also watched it all the time. The film was based on the play Parfumerie by Miklós László. It turns out that another film released several decades earlier was also based on that play. That film was Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner. The film's basic story revolves around two employees at a gift shop in Budapest who unwittingly fall in love with each other via anonymous letters. The only problem is that in real life they hate each other. The man, played by James Stewart, is Alfred Kralik, a salesman who desperately wants more out of life. The woman, played by Margaret Sullavan, is Klara Novak. She is repulsed by Kralik. Their relationship is only one part of an over-arching milieu concerning the gift shop. It's charming to watch Lubitsch create a little microcosm within the gift shop. There's the anxious owner, the precocious delivery boy, the crass womanizer, and so on and so on. Perhaps that's the "Lubitsch Touch" at work. The Shop Around the Corner isn't my favorite Lubitsch film. But I enjoyed it. Now to just get my dad to watch it. I'll bet I can trick him into thinking that somehow Lubitsch ripped Nora Ephron off.
7/10
Vanishing Point: Richard C. Sarafian
Let me make one thing very, very clear: I am not a gear-head. I have absolutely no interest in cars. I couldn't care less about what kind of car I drive, its motor, its manufacturer, its year, etc, etc...But after watching Richard C. Sarafian's Vanishing Point, I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with the 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum. Something about watching that car draw pictures in the desert sands with its tire tracks mesmerized me. Of course, this was largely due to Sarafian's phenomenal directing and vision. Vanishing Point is more than just a muscle car movie. It is a cross-section of the post-60s American zeitgeist with a pinch of highway mysticism. A weary driver simply named Kowalski is hired to deliver a 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum from Denver, Colorado to San Francisco. What ensues is a road trip into nothing less than the scorched soul of America. Hopped up on Benzedrine, Kowalski's reckless driving attracts the attention of the police. However, Kowalski manages to escape from them time and again. As he progresses, he soon gains supporters in the form of friendly motorcycle-driving hippies, a black radio disc jockey, and even a desert snake-wrangler. He encounters detritus from generations of American dreamers: shells of old cars, Christian communes, and racist cops. The cinematography, courtesy of the legendary John A. Alonzo, is achingly beautiful. Rarely before or since has the American desert and highways seemed so vibrant and promising. Vanishing Point is nothing less than an American treasure. It helps that that Dodge Challenger is one hell of a car, too.
9/10
The Woman Next Door: François Truffaut
By the time the legendary French director François Truffaut reached the 1980s, he had largely run out of steam. Self-indulgent personal films like The Man Who Loved Women (1977) seemed to alternate with tired genre exercises like Confidentially Yours (1983). The great exception, of course, was his incredible ode to European theater: The Last Metro (1980). But other than that film, Truffaut's output during the last few years of his career largely unimpressed me. However, I found myself enjoying his penultimate film entitled The Woman Next Door. The film follows Bernard Coudray and Mathilde Bauchard, two lovers who accidentally move next door to each other years after their affair ended. At first, they try to avoid each other. But it isn't long before their passions are re-ignited. However, Mathilde soon feels incredible remorse over cheating on her husband. She tries to break the affair off. However, Bernard's affection mutates into a dangerous obsession. One of the problems that I've always had with Truffaut's work was that his dramas concerning adults always seemed to be emotionally stale. When he turned his camera to children he managed to explore universes of emotion that other film-makers could only dream of. But The Woman Next Door contains all of the pathos and emotions that I've come to miss from Truffaut's work about adults. It isn't his greatest film, mind you. While the emotion is certainly there, I never got the sense that this was a film directed by one of the men who literally re-defined the cinema. But it is still a nice reprieve from a phase of his career that I found to be mired in mediocrity.
7/10
99 River Street: Phil Karlson
Before I spotted Phil Karlson's 99 River Street on Netflix, I had never even heard of it. Even though it boasted a solid director and the cinematographer who would go on to film Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961), the film had never appeared on any "best-of" list or genre survey of film noir that I had ever encountered. I find that to be quite unfortunate. 99 River Street is a wonderful example of the genre. In a plot reminiscent of the extraordinary Stranger on the Third Floor (1940), the film follows a man accused of a crime he didn't commit trying to clear his name with the help of a sympathetic woman while being pursued by the police. Ernie Driscoll is a disgraced ex-boxer struggling to make a living by driving a cab. When Pauline, his cheating wife, is killed by a gangster in order to cover up for a diamond caper gone wrong, Driscoll finds himself on the run as the primary suspect. He is aided by Linda, an amateur actress who doubles as the only witness to Driscoll's innocence. Together they race to find the gangster that killed Pauline. The trouble is that Driscoll and Linda aren't the only people looking for the gangster. The gangster is also being hunted by a group of criminals he crossed as a result of the failed diamond caper. When they collide with Driscoll and Linda, the results turn deadly. In addition to being a thriller, 99 River Street dives deep into Driscoll's psychology and torment as a boxer who never quite made it to the top. His quest to clear his name coincides with a journey to re-discover his own personal sense of worth. It may not be very popular or well-known, but 99 River Street is a film noir worthy of study and admiration.
7/10
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The Space Children: Jack Arnold
Jack Arnold's The Space Children is one of those special 50s sci-fi flicks drenched in dread over the dangers of the Atomic age. When a bizarre alien organism arrives on earth near an American missile silo, it enlists the aid of the local children for protection so it can have enough time to try and destroy a brand new nuclear weapon. The whole idea of a group of possessed children leading an insurrection against the adults would later be revisited to much greater effect in Wolf Rilla's Village of the Damned (1960). But Arnold managed to create an effectively spooky atmosphere which helped the film's narrative survive. Occasionally the story will drag on into the realm of tedium. There are far too many scenes where the children will disappear, reappear, and then act bizarrely in response to their parents' inquiries. Some of the performances by the children are stilted and awkward. But the main three children, two brothers and a young girl that they meet when they first move to the silo, are blessed with competent actors. Unfortunately, the alien organism featured in the film is depicted as little more than a giant blob of jello. I can sympathize with the film-makers wanting to have an extraterrestrial that looked alien in nature instead of like a human in bizarre tights. But the effect nevertheless falls flat. I guess we should count our blessings that the alien only has a few minutes of screen-time.
6/10
Monday, July 23, 2012
Mirror Mirror: Tarsem Singh
I can sum up all of the problems in Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror in two words: Julia Roberts. Singh managed to update the classic Snow White fairy tale into something fresh and exciting. The entire film is rich with his characteristic visual flair and otherworldly mise en scène, bringing to life a very tired, very cliche story. Lily Collins is radiant as Snow White and gives a performance which is at times delicate, at times ferocious, and at times very vulnerable. And yet, the entire film is damaged by Roberts' performance as the evil Queen. How can I explain what Roberts' performance is like to someone who hasn't seen the film? The best way that I can think of is that Roberts acts like the film is a spunky, self-aware parody of fairy tales like Kevin Lima's Enchanted (2007). She chews scenery, talks with a horrible quasi-English accent, and is just generally unpleasant to watch. Meanwhile, everybody else in the film plays their roles straight. As a result, Roberts' becomes an eyesore and her performance grates on an otherwise decent film. It's a shame that this film was so unbalanced. Singh's career has hit some tough times. If he had just cast another actress as the Queen, then this might have been the film that would have redeemed himself in the eyes of the film-going public. Would I recommend this movie for children? Sure. But I would suggest that their first exposure to the classic fairy tale be the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) by Walt Disney.
6/10
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Pumaman: Alberto De Martino
As far as knock-off superhero films go, you could do much, much worse than Alberto De Martino's The Pumaman. The film has a coherent plot, average special effects, and enough action beats to prevent it from becoming boring or tedious. But that's about everything positive that can be said about The Pumaman. The eponymous Pumaman is the alter-ego of American paleontologist Tony Farms. He discovers his powers when he is defenestrated by an Aztec priest named Vadinho and survives. Vadinho then gives Tony a magical golden belt that allows him to become the Pumaman, a superhero capable of super-strength, teleportation, flight, and feigning death for ten minutes by stopping his heart. How any of these powers are related to a puma is anyone's guess. Tony must fight against the evil Dr. Kobras, a madman bent on controlling the minds of world leaders via a golden Aztec mask. However, Tony proves to be a largely incompetent superhero. He has to be saved several times by Vadinho. I'm not sure if it was De Martino's intention to make his hero an incapable laughing stock, but that is how Pumaman is portrayed. The special effect used to make Pumaman fly is particularly ridiculous. Let's just say it involves trampolines, blue screens, and one very uncomfortable actor. But, as I said, I've seen worse superhero movies. But could someone please explain to me why a white American was chosen as the conduit for mystical Aztec powers? Personally, I think Vadinho should have been chosen. He did do most of the hero work in the film.
5/10
Coffy: Jack Hill
I'm actually kind of reluctant to give my film buff friends the address to this site. As much as I love them, I find I am frequently at odds with many of their opinions on certain genres and films. Jack Hill's Coffy is one such film. Heralded as a classic of blaxploitation cinema, Coffy tells the story of Nurse "Coffy" Coffin, a woman determined to wreak destruction on the criminal underworld after her younger sister got hooked on drugs. Pam Grier's performance as Coffy was a watershed moment in blaxploitation cinema. Coffy was a highly intelligent, extremely capable black woman who used her sexuality to her advantage. This kind of character was basically unheard of before Coffy. Because of this, my fellow film buffs view Coffy as an indispensable classic. And while I certainly give Hill and Grier credit for the historical and sociological impact of their collaboration, I can't help but find Coffy to be okay. Just okay. The film chugs along from plot point to plot point, only occasionally making stops for scenes of gratuitous violence and sexuality. The most ridiculously over-the-top scene comes during a fancy party where several well-dressed women get into a brutal, prolonged cat-fight that ends with several of them topless and otherwise half-naked. Does it add anything to the story? No. This is one of the problems that I have with many movies that are considered to be classics among my film buff friends: they are willing to forgive shoddy and sub-par workmanship if a film contains something shocking or subversive. By that same token, they despise exciting, entertaining films if they don't fulfill their intellectual ego. I refuse to buy into either extreme. Yes, Coffy is a ground-breaking film and a gold-mine for scholastic study. But I still think that it is a mediocre piece of film-making.
6/10
Saturday, July 21, 2012
The Giant Gila Monster: Ray Kellogg
Originally shot as part of a double feature for Dallas drive-in theater chain owner Gordon McLendon, The Giant Gila Monster is a long, tiring creature feature bereft of any energy or excitement. It revolves around a small town that discovers evidence of a 70-foot poisonous lizard wreaking havoc in the countryside. But there are two things you should know about this "giant lizard." First, the movie never really explains where it came from or how it got that big. One day...there's just a giant lizard! Second, this movie was so cheap that they didn't even use special effects. They simply took a real-life lizard, placed it in shrunken scenery, and spliced footage of it into the film. The most memorable scene involves the lizard destroying what is obviously a toy model train. But anyhow, the townsfolk can't sit by and let a giant lizard destroy everything. Unfortunately, the only people who believe that the lizard even exists are the local teenagers. When the lizard tries to attack a local sock hop, one of the teenagers, Chase Winstead, stops it by filling his hot rod with nitroglycerin and using it as a bomb. There, I gave away the ending. Now you don't have to watch it. If you feel upset that I ruined the film for you, then relax. In reality, I just saved you from an achingly tedious movie experience. Most of the film involves different teenagers and police officers talking to each other. That's it. Just talking. The "giant lizard" is only in the film for a couple of minutes. The Giant Gila Monster is a dreadful film, even by drive-in theater standards.
4/10
Walking Tall: Phil Karlson
For a long time, I had only known Joe Don Baker as the fat, drunk slob that populated films like Mitchell (1975) and Final Justice (1984). So imagine my surprise when I watched Walking Tall and discovered that the man had the capacity to be a phenomenal actor. Loosely based on the real life story of McNairy County, Tennessee sheriff Buford Pusser, Walking Tall follows an ex-wrestler who returns to his hometown with his family only to discover that it has been taken over by vice and crime. After being savagely attacked by a group of criminals at an illegal gambling den, Pusser decides to run for sheriff and clean up the town. After a lengthy battle against the corrupt police force and judges, Pusser is finally elected. He moves to destroy the local prostitution ring, the gambling gangsters, and the illegal distilleries that plague his county. During his crusade to remove crime, he is betrayed, shot several times, and attacked in his own home. The film obviously takes great liberties with the real life story. But the result is a shocking and thrilling film. Walking Tall is emotionally exhausting to watch. Director Phil Karlson tortures the audience by relentlessly throwing obstacle after obstacle and set-back after set-back in Pusser's way. Just when he seems to have the upper hand, something unimaginable happens to him. The film's climax may seem cheesy and corny to the uninitiated. But Karlson and Baker earn it. Walking Tall is a triumph of a film.
9/10
The Pledge: Sean Penn
Sean Penn's The Pledge begins like a police procedural. During his retirement party, Police Detective Jerry Black is called to a crime scene where the body of a young girl has been found. When Black delivers the news to the girl's parents, the mother makes him swear on a cross that he will find her murderer. After the police department pins the murder on a local retarded Indian who commits suicide in their station, the case is closed. But Black still isn't convinced. What follows is an introspective journey into Blake's tortured psyche. Here is a man who driven by demons of his own design. He buys a gas station near a local lake and sets up a permanent vigil for people who fit the description of the killer. He befriends a single mother and her young daughter. It seems like he has finally learned to love and move on. Or has he? This is a film that delights in subverting audience and genre expectations. Even more impressively, Penn almost never reveals his true intentions through dialogue. Horrific revelations about Black are revealed through simple cinematic visual language. The film is full of jarring red herrings. These only serve to demonstrate Black's mental torment. He mistakes a local minister for a ruthless serial killer. When the girl momentarily disappears during a local fair, Black assumes that she has been abducted. There is a fantastic line early in the film that could serve as its mantra. When Blake is with the dead girl's parents, the mother despairs, "There can't be such devils out there." Blake responds, "There are such devils." Regardless of whether or not they exist, Blake can't help but see them everywhere he turns. The Pledge is such a well-crafted, intelligent film that I found myself replaying scenes in my mind while I tried to sleep. Lines of dialogue haunted my dreams, much as imaginary demons plague Black. That is, of course, if his demons are imaginary in the first place. But regardless, the important thing is that Black believes them to be real. And through his actions, he makes them come to life.
9/10
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Marooned: John Sturges
Released less than 4 months after the Apollo 11 moon landing, John Sturges' Marooned attempted to cash-in on the space exploration craze that was sweeping America. It boasted a star-studded cast including the likes of Gregory Peck, Richard Crenna, and Gene Hackman. It even went on the win the Academy Award for Visual Effects. The film follows three astronauts who find themselves trapped in a tiny spacecraft that is unable to dock at a space station or re-enter earth's atmosphere. As Mission Control scrambles to try and coordinate a rescue mission, the astronauts have to find ways to conserve oxygen and stave off fears of their imminent death. Despite the plot and an admittedly great performance by Hackman as one of the astronauts who can't take the stress, Marooned falls flat. The pacing is tedious and laborious. Part of this has to do with the fact that long sections of the film are devoted to depicting standard operating procedures of space travel. Back in the late 60s, audiences were so enamored with the space program that they could tolerate such spectacles. But they don't hold up by today's standards. Considering how well earlier sci-fi films about space travel like 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Forbidden Planet (1956) still hold up against the test of time, Marooned is little more than an historical oddity with a great cast.
5/10
One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine: Jimmy Wang
Most martial arts films do little to keep my interest. Too many times the fighting takes precedence over the story. That isn't a bad thing, mind you. When people go to a martial arts film they want to see martial arts! But many of them seem like fight reels instead of actual films. Jimmy Wang's One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine manages to circumvent this problem in two ways. First, Wang keeps the fight scenes relatively short. Now, don't misunderstand me. Most of the film is fighting. It follows the eponymous One Armed Boxer, the master of a martial arts school, who is hunted by a blind imperial assassin. In the first One Armed Man (1971), he killed two of the assassin's students. When the One Armed Man attends a martial arts tournament, the assassin decides that it is the perfect time to strike. Herein lies Wang's second strategy of keeping the film fresh: the fights all show-case radically different styles of martial arts. I don't mean that combatants use different styles of fighting that can only be told apart by other martial artists. There is an Indian yogi with arms that can double in length. There is a rowdy Thai kick-boxer. Some fights are held over a pit of swords. In one of the film's climactic scenes, two fighters battle in a tiny hut with an iron floor on top of a raging fire. Admittedly, the plot is really only there to facilitate the wide variety of fights. But the fights are so inventive that you won't mind. There is a worrisome undercurrent of jingoism prevalent throughout the film. Many of the "foreign" characters are in black-face and behave crudely and slovenly. The Chinese characters are noble, strong, and wise. But I guess as an American, I have no right to complain. After all, Hollywood has a prestigious tradition of hurtful stereotypes and white-washing. But when judged on its own merits, One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine is one of the best martial arts films that I have ever seen.
8/10
Friday, July 13, 2012
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Nicholas Webster
Nicholas Webster's Santa Claus Conquers the Martians breaks the sacrosanct rule of bad movies: if you can't be good, at the very least don't also be annoying. And, oh, is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians annoying. It's as maddening as a hardware store worth of nails scraping against an infinity of chalkboards. The plain and simple of this story is that Martians kidnap Santa Claus along with a couple of plucky Earth children. Santa Claus then brings Christmas to the Martians while defeating the evil Voldar who wants to eliminate him! Along the way there are laughably bad sets (which seem to be made of construction paper), hilariously inept costumes (including a tin can robot and a polar bear outfit that looks like it was made from carpet samples), and truly atrocious performances (particularly from Dropo, a Martian who acts like a comedian who knows he's terrible but thinks if he just overacts a little bit more people will start to laugh). The film climaxes with a scene where the Earth children defeat the mighty Voldar by attacking him with Christmas gifts. It's loud, obnoxious, and saturated with Santa's mighty HO HO HO. This is a film devoid of subtlety, charm, pacing, and humor. Oh...and the Martians have chicken wire antenna, too. I thought that was a cliche that died out in the 50s. Well, forget it. Just writing about this movie is making me want to grab a bottle of aspirin.
3/10
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders: Kenneth J. Berton
Wow. Kenneth J. Berton's Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders has a fantastic poster! Too bad that the movie itself is a train-wreck. Much like Rob Reiner's The Princess Bride (1987), the film is supposedly a story being told by a grandfather to his grandson. However, unlike The Princess Bride which took its audience on a magnificent journey of magic and true love, Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders is an unpleasant, poorly made, and thoroughly horrifying experience. The film is actually a Frankenstein monster of new footage and scenes from The Devil's Gift, a 1984 movie by the same director. Berton tries to connect the two halves of the film together by claiming that they are both tangentially related to a shop which Merlin, the wizard of ancient lore, has opened up in modern day America...for some reason. The first half of the film deals with a crotchety critic who takes Merlin's book of spells and ruins his life with it. The second half involves an possessed monkey doll which brings bad luck and death to everyone who possesses it. These stories are surprisingly violent and disturbing for a children's movie. Even more disturbing is the fact that the grandfather is supposedly narrating all these scenes of death and carnage to his grandson. Not even the late, great Ernest Borgnine's performance as the grandfather telling the stories is able to save this film. Only a sadistic parent would think of showing this film to their children.
4/10
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Cave Dwellers: Joe D'Amato
Did Joe D'Amato ever make a good film? I'm being completely serious. I'm not trying to be funny or witty. From what I've heard of D'Amato, he is responsible for a slew of terrible horror and exploitation films including Antropophagus (1980), Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1988), and Troll 3 (1993). One of his most "famous" projects was the Ator franchise, a series of sword and sorcery films that ripped off Conan the Barbarian. I have had the displeasure of viewing the second Ator film, originally titled Ator l'invincibile 2, but released in English speaking countries as Cave Dwellers. After the opening sequence which clumsily tries to recap the first Ator film, Ator l'invincibile (1982), the audience is thrown into a bizarre setting which apparently can't decide if it is prehistoric or medieval in nature. Of course, after the audience tries to gain their bearings, they are immediately confused once again by a bizarre, cryptic plot that wouldn't make sense to people who had seen the first film. From what I can tell, the film is about a mighty warrior named Ator who needs to stop a villain named Zor from using a kind of nuclear super-weapon. At some point, this requires Ator to construct a hand-glider from scratch and drop bombs on a giant fortress. Cave Dwellers is so amateurish that it's a wonder that D'Amato was able to get work after it. There are continuity errors, bad fight scenes, abysmal cinematography, plot holes, and numerous times when you can see modern day buildings and clothing by accident in the background. There may be two more films in the Ator franchise after Cave Dwellers...but I have no intention of ever seeing them.
2/10
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
In the Heat of the Night: Norman Jewison
It would be easy to dismiss Norman Jewison's In the Heat of the Night as a classic simply because of its cultural signifance. The film, a mystery thriller, was revolutionary in its brutally honest portrayal of racism. Philadelphia homicide detective Virgil Tibbs (in a legendary performance by Sidney Poitier) is arrested as a murder suspect while visiting his mother in rural Mississippi. A man named Mr. Colbert, a industrialist from Chicago who was going to build a factory in the area, was found dead in an alley. The racist police force, led by Police Chief Bill Gillespie, pin Tibbs as a suspect because he was found in a train station late at night with a wallet full of money. But when Tibbs reveals he is a cop, he becomes drafted by his superiors to help the locals in the investigation. In a twisted take on the buddy-cop genre, Tibbs and Gillespie have to work together and ignore their prejudices in order to bring the real killer to justice. As I said, In the Heat of the Night's plot would have been enough to solidify its status as a classic. But what it doesn't take into account is that In the Heat of the Night is a superbly crafted film. Unlike other Academy Award winning Hollywood films that tackled social subjects like racism (think Elia Kazan's Gentleman's Agreement), In the Heat of the Night remains compelling and shocking. Jewison turns the town of Sparta, Mississippi into a character in and of itself: the diner is greasy and caked with dirt, the prison is sweltering and run-down, and only the cops seem to have clean shirts. This is a film that relies on acting and subtle mise en scène to create drama and tension, not rapid editing and camera tricks. The central mystery of Mr. Colbert's death is fascinating and keeps the audience second-guessing until the last few minutes. Quite simply, In the Heat of the Night is a masterpiece.
10/10
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Christmas in July: Preston Sturges
It begins, like so many other great stories, with a misunderstanding. Well, perhaps more of a deception in this particular case. Jimmy MacDonald is a run-of-the-mill office worker who can’t keep his mind on his work. All day long he doodles “$25,000” on office stationary and fumbles his receipts. For although MacDonald is just another office lackey, he dreams of much, much more. He has recently entered the Maxford House Coffee slogan contest which boasts a grand prize of $25,000. MacDonald considers himself a shoe-in to win. The problem is that nobody else understands the pure genius of his slogan. Even his girlfriend Betty Casey doesn’t get it. But how could she not understand such a brilliant piece of marketing genius: “If you can’t sleep at night, it’s not the coffee, it’s the bunk.” See? It’s a play on words!
Well, MacDonald ends up getting the last laugh, let me tell you! One day he finds a telegram on his desk. What’s on this telegram, you ask? Why, nothing less than an announcement that he has won the grand prize along with a check for $25,000! See, what did I tell you? But MacDonald’s good fortune doesn’t end there! He gets promoted to advertising executive with his own office! He goes on a lavish shopping spree at Shindel’s department store, buying gifts and toys for all of his neighbors and their children. He even picks out a futuristic sofa for his mother! You should see this thing. It turns into a bed with the press of a button!
There’s only one small problem. See, it turns out that a winner hasn’t been chosen in the Maxford House Coffee slogan contest. The jury is deadlocked. They never sent a telegram to a Mr. Jimmy MacDonald. They don’t even know who Mr. Jimmy MacDonald is. And they certainly didn’t send him a check for $25,000. That telegram and check on his desk? Well, that was put there by a couple of MacDonald’s co-workers as a practical joke. Things got out-of-hand too quickly for the pranksters to come clean. So when Dr. Maxford, the owner of Maxford House Coffee, finds out that somebody has “won” the contest, it becomes all too clear that things are going to go sour very, very quickly. But...not quite yet.
This has all been the set-up for Preston Sturges’ second directorial effort, Christmas in July. Fresh off his Oscar-winning success with his first film, The Great McGinty (1940), Sturges continued to establish himself with Christmas in July as one of the most brilliant writer/directors of the 1940s. Though it barely clocks in at over an hour, Christmas in July is one of Sturges’ most memorable, and perhaps one his most criminally under-appreciated, films.
Christmas in July was early enough in Sturges’ career that it still retained a kind of wide-eyed enthusiasm and belief in the inherent goodness of mankind. Prolonged studio battles and box office failures would eventually drain Sturges to the point of cynicism, a trait that becomes increasingly apparent later in his career with such films as Unfaithfully Yours (1948). But Christmas in July’s optimism was characteristic of the times. The later years of the Great Depression may have been an unparalleled time of suffering in American history, but it produced some of the most upbeat and hopeful films ever made. It was a time when 60-80 million Americans went to the movies every week. This was the era of the Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, idealistic Capra-esque heroes, and Busby Berkeley excess.
But while Groucho indulged in comedic anarchy and Berkeley in costumed extravagance, the most excessive part of Sturges’ films was the dialogue. Sturges had a talent for lightning fast and witty dialogue and the ability to cram three hours worth of it into a single feature. Much of his writing is so good that it goes over your head until you really sit down and think about it. Take MacDonald’s slogan: “If you can’t sleep at night, it’s not the coffee, it’s the bunk.” That turn of phrase sounds like the last half of a badly translated zen kōan. MacDonald came up with it after he read a medical journal by a Vienna scientist who claimed that coffee puts people asleep instead of keeping them awake. So, MacDonald figures, if you can’t fall asleep after drinking Maxford House Coffee, it must be the bunk that you’re sleeping on that’s keeping you awake!
Like I said, MacDonald’s slogan makes no sense whatsoever. But he believes in it so passionately that the audience begins to believe it, too. And that’s what keeps the plot going: a willingness to go along with sheer enthusiasm. Dr. Maxford should have realized something was up when MacDonald’s check for $25,000 bounced. But instead he just insisted that he would cover it when the bank called. The Shindel department store should have been more suspicious when a random man walked in and went on a spending spree with a strange check. And MacDonald? Well, he shouldn’t have been so self-deluded as to think that his slogan had any chance of winning.
But much like Sturges’ own ambitions, Christmas in July is a film about impossible dreams coming true. It is a pure distillation of what made Sturges’ films so great: hysterical writing, sincere acting, and genuine heart. It affirms that American belief that if you work hard enough (and have a little luck) you can achieve anything. All we need, as Betty said, is a chance. Just...a chance.
9/10
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