Sombre: Philippe Grandrieux

Watching SOMBRE (1998). Is this movie supposed to be almost unwatchably dark or is there something wrong with my TV or Blu-ray player? Serious question.

— The Executioner’s Hood (@NateHood257) October 21, 2018

Also, have I been tricked into watching a softcore porno? Because some of these sex scenes are downright gynecological.

— The Executioner’s Hood (@NateHood257) October 21, 2018

You know what’s nonsense? I’ve seen at least six separate women totally buck-ass naked. I mean, not even given a merkin for their dignity. But I’ve yet to see a SINGLE penis!! pic.twitter.com/oT1I6aRfj6

— The Executioner’s Hood (@NateHood257) October 21, 2018

So...the only way to “save” the prostitute-killing serial murderer is for the ingenue to sacrifice her virginity to him. Did Lars Von Trier write this?

— The Executioner’s Hood (@NateHood257) October 21, 2018

Well, that was definitely the kind of 3deep5me "slasher" film a lot of high-brow critics might like. I'm not one of them. I found it ponderous, boring, and misogynist in a manner that didn't interrogate its own misogyny.

— The Executioner’s Hood (@NateHood257) October 21, 2018

Rating: 3/10

Liverleaf: Eisuke Naitô

To read this review, go to: https://www.theyoungfolks.com/review/122941/what-happened-to-the-new-york-asian-film-festivals-main-slate-a-bewildered-retrospective/.

Rating: 3/10

The 15:17 to Paris: Clint Eastwood

To read this review, go to: https://www.theyoungfolks.com/review/116644/the-1517-to-paris-review-clint-eastwood-misfires-with-this-bundle-of-ideological-confusion/.

3/10

Party: Manoel de Oliveira

Wow, so, Manoel de Oliveira's Party was terrible. It took me two days to watch. On the first, I got so bored I had to turn it off so I could go to sleep. Don't ask me what it's about because I don't care. It's like My Dinner with Andre if nobody had anything interesting to say. It's like an Éric Rohmer film in search of a twentysomething to gawk at or a Claude Chabrol film in search of a murder victim. Unless you're in desperate need for a sleep aid, avoid at all costs.

3/10

Town in a Lake: Jet Leyco

To read this review, go to: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/new-york-asian-film-festival-2017-japan-southeast-asia-south-korea-sampler/.

3/10

Jane: Cho Hyun-hoon

To read this review, go to: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/nyaff-main/.

3/10

Double Life: Yoshiyuki Kishi

To read this review, go to: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/nyaff-main/.

3/10

Abu: Arshad Khan

To read this review, go to: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/abu/.

3/10

Future ’38: Jamie Greenberg

To read this review, go to: https://www.theyoungfolks.com/review/104524/movie-review-future-38/.

3/10

Spy Hard: Rick Friedberg

Whatta stinker. Rick Friedberg's Spy Hard feels like a film made entirely of the scrap pieces of footage found on The Naked Gun's editing floor. Apparently it was the first film written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. First off, I had no idea they were making movies back in the mid 1990s. Second, you can really see the degradation of the spoof humor that made Leslie Nielsen so popular: repeated punchlines, randomness for the sake of randomness, and referential humor that feels woefully dated. The worst example was a random scene where somebody dressed like Michael Jackson gets their hair caught on fire. He yells "not again" and jumps out a window. Okay...There was one good part of Spy Hard: 'Weird Al' Yankovic's amazing opening theme song. Too bad he couldn't write and star in the whole movie...

3/10

Kill Ratio: Paul Tanter

To read this review, go here: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/movie-review-kill-ratio/.

3/10

Cheer Up: Christy Garland

To read this review, go to: https://unseenfilms.blogspot.com/2016/11/nathanael-hood-ponders-whether-we.html.

3/10

The Ornithologist: João Pedro Rodrigues

To read this review, go to: http://www.audienceseverywhere.net/the-ornithologist-is-an-allegorical-failure/.

3/10

Natural Selection: Chad L. Scheifele

To read this review, go to: http://theyoungfolks.com/review/movie-review-natural-selection/85673.

3/10

The Forest: Jason Zada

Jason Zada's The Forest is the hollow shell of a horror movie. There's a decent plot and set-up: an American travels to the popular, supposedly haunted, suicide spot Aokigahara Forest in Japan to locate her lost twin sister. But there's not a single moment when the film feels atmospheric and tense. Every jump scare is telegraphed. The strange thing is that all the bits and pieces for a good horror movie are there, they're just mishandled. First, they needed to get their story straight: it's an unholy mess of unexplained motivations and nonexistent logic. Then they needed to get a director who could actually create a tone and atmosphere. Then they needed to get a different lead actress than Natalie Dormer. She's a good actress, but she's no scream queen. She feels out of place in this film and gives a cringe-worthy performance.

3/10

Burst City: Sogo Ishii

To read this review, go to: http://theyoungfolks.com/review/japan-cuts-2016-classic-film-roundup-burst-city-1982-face-2000-hush-2001/83517.

3/10

Suicide Club: Sion Sono

It's a good thing Sion Sono's Suicide Club is so graphic, bloody, shocking, and creepy. Otherwise people would have realized that it made no damn sense. It's just a random assortment of gore, shock twists, and tangentially related nonsense. Who were those nurses at the beginning? Why did they reappear after killing themselves to haunt and torment that poor guard? Who was Genesis and his crew? Were they really responsible for the Club? Who were "Dessart?" What was their motivation to do what they did? I've heard that this film's plot holes were explained in tie-in manga, books, and sequels. Screw that! I shouldn't have to invest in a whole franchise to figure out what's happening in ONE movie!

3/10

Seattle Road: Ryan David

To read this review, go to: http://theyoungfolks.com/review/movie-review-seattle-road-one-of-the-worst-kinds-of-bad-movie/81671.

3/10

The Boys Who Cried Wolf: Kim Jin-hwang

To read this review, go to: http://theyoungfolks.com/review/nyaff-round-up-2-grace-2016-the-boys-who-cried-wolf-2016/81625.

3/10

Warcraft: Duncan Jones

How best to explain how and why Duncan Jones' Warcraft sucks? How about that it feels like the Council of Elrond scenes in the The Fellowship of the Rings (2001) juxtaposed with the Battle of Gondor scenes in The Return of the King (2003)? And while there are explanations for why Character A goes to Area B to do such-and-such as the plot requires, very little of it feels connected; almost none of it carries any dramatic weight. Places, people, and locations are thrown onto the screen with less care, consideration, and explanation than in the Star Wars prequels. It's all just a haze of terrible CGI locations, terrible CGI characters, and terrible CGI effects.

3/10