Identification of a Woman: Michelangelo Antonioni

Oh, Criterion Collection...why must you continuously add films by Michelangelo Antonioni to your oeuvre? One of my goals as a film lover has been to watch all of the films in your collection...so whenever you include another film by Antonioni, that means that I actually have to watch it. Antonioni's respect within the film community has never failed to completely baffle me. I suppose that I just don't get it. Identification of a Woman (1982) is the sixth film by Antonioni that I have had to watch and believe me...it isn't getting any easier. L'Avventura (1960) and Eclipse (1962) were two of the worst film experiences that I have ever had to suffer through. Red Desert (1964) had some pretty photography, but was otherwise completely dull and void of life. I hesitate to say that I "liked" his films Blowup (1966) and Zabriskie Point (1970) because while I didn't "hate" them, per say, I hope that I never have to watch them again. So how does Identification of a Woman stack up against the other Antonioni films that I have seen? Poorly. Very poorly. Just like L'Avventura and Eclipse, the film has a weak pretext of what could be called a plot that exists solely to be abused by Antonioni's whims. I find that I can't really tell you what Identification of a Woman is about...so I'll try to tell you what happens inside it. It begins with an Italian film director named Niccolò discovering that his wife has left him. So, he drowns his sorrows between the legs of disgraced aristocrat named Mavi. During their affair, Niccolò mentions that he is trying to find the perfect woman to cast in his next film. Whether or not he intends to cast Mavi as said woman is left up in the air...at least until she mysterious disappears without a trace, as rich women are wont to do in Antonioni's films. So, after a bit of half-hearted searching for Mavi, he hooks up another actress named Ida. But, gasp, Mavi re-materializes out of nowhere! What is Niccolò to do?! I have another question...why should I care? This film is vapid and bloated. More time is devoted to the several graphic sex scenes (which can get damn near gynecological) than to actually advancing the plot and developing the characters. I know that upper-class ennui is Antonioni's bread-and-butter, but that doesn't mean that it's an intriguing subject! Antonioni is essentially asking me to feel sympathy for rich, beautiful people who are tired of life's banality. My feelings towards this film can actually be summed up pretty succinctly in one particular scene where Mavi takes Niccolò to a party with many other rich, powerful, and boring aristocrats. In one room, we witness a very pompous man casually mention that one of his ancestors invented the double-bass. At this point, I thought to myself, "Well...maybe. But what have YOU done with your life?"

1/10