Why bother making a Dark Tower movie if you're not going to bother making it about Stephen King's The Dark Tower series? Seriously! I don't understand the logic behind Nikolaj Arcel's new movie: it has the characters of The Dark Tower, the settings of The Dark Tower, and even some of the conflicts of The Dark Tower. And yet it's not The Dark Tower. It's practically a brand new story that has nothing to do with the beloved novels. It'd be one thing if the movie was in any way compelling, but other than the inspired casting of Matthew McConaughey as Walter o'Dim, there really isn't much about this film that's worth watching. The action scenes are dull, Roland is bizarrely uncompelling--I blame the fact that he gets maybe 30-40 minutes of screentime in the whole damn thing, and the portrayal of o'Dim is so off the mark that it's almost not him. I can't imagine o'Dim, or should I say Randall Flagg, ever being at the helm of a giant technological science center. On the other hand, I can totally buy him wearing an apron as he casually cooks chicken in the house of one of his soon-to-be victims.
4/10
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