Cool as Ice: David Kellogg

David Kellogg's Cool as Ice isn't so much a movie as it is a ninety minute music video with bits and pieces of plot haphazardly stuffed into the cracks between musical numbers. This is hardly surprising considering Kellogg's career as a music video director. And to his credit, Cool as Ice has a fresh, energetic visual style that ensures that the film is never boring. But everything else about the film fails miserably. Vanilla Ice is laughable as an actor, the dialogue is cringe-worthy, and Ice's few musical numbers are painfully dated (although, to give credit where credit's due, the man is a good dancer). The bad-boy meets good-girl storyline is diluted with a bizarre side-plot involving corrupt police officers, the Witness Protection Program, and a kidnapping. The only explanation for its addition that I can think of is that Kellogg must have realized that he only had about thirty minutes worth of "story" so he hurriedly tried to raise the dramatic stakes and give Ice a chance to be a hero. The result is that Cool as Ice feels less like a single motion picture and more like two movies Frankenstein-ed together: a terrible crime thriller and an even worse musical.

4/10