A collection of informal movie reviews for the purpose of documenting my thoughts on the films that I watch.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Kandahar: Mohsen Makhmalbaf
German director Werner Herzog speaks of the "voodoo of location, " or the abstract, indefinable power of shooting a film on location instead of in a studio or a back-lot. But is there also such thing as the "voodoo of time?" Is it possible for a film to take on new meaning and power based on when it was released? I would argue that if any film proves the existence of the "voodoo of time" it would be Mohsen Makhmalbaf's Kandahar. Released months before the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Kandahar follows an Afghan refugee from Canada returning to her home country in order to find her sister. The woman, Nafas, is desperate to get to the Afghan city of Kandahar where her sister is planning on committing suicide in three days. Her sister had lost both her legs to a land mine and cannot take life under the Taliban any longer. Nafas follows a series of guides on her journey. First, she poses as a wife to an old man. Then, she follows a young boy named Khak who was recently expelled from a Qur'anic school. After she gets sick from drinking rotten well water, she is accompanied by an African American convert who now works as a local doctor. Finally, she is led by a man who scams the Red Cross for valuable false limbs. The film paints a vividly disturbing picture of life in the world's most dangerous country. The fact that it was released just before 9/11 gives it an almost prophetic tone. Even more, it makes the audience wonder how life could get any worse? The answer? Over a decade of war and destruction thanks to United States military actions. Kandahar is a startling meditation on violence, destruction, suffering.
9/10
The Dark Knight Rises: Christopher Nolan
It's taken me almost two weeks to gather and organize my thoughts concerning Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises. I guess I wanted to wait and see if my assessment of the film held up after the adrenaline of opening night. I didn't want my review to seem like another knee-jerk proclamation of the film being "the best superhero film EVER!!" So what do I think of The Dark Knight Rises? Quite simply...I loved it. Is it better than The Dark Knight (2008)? No. Nolan captured lightning in a bottle with The Dark Knight. While The Dark Knight Rises is certainly a phenomenal film, it doesn't reach the same visceral heights. But, again, that doesn't change the fact that The Dark Knight Rises is one of the best superhero films ever made. Nolan's final entry in the Dark Knight trilogy has polarized both critics and fans. But I think that's because it is not a traditional superhero film. In fact, it is practically post-modern. Batman only appears in costume for a few scenes. The film is more about Gotham and the lack of Batman than the film's eponymous hero. Many people resented the film for that reason. But I found Nolan's decision positively inspired. Batman Begins (2005) was about Bruce Wayne becoming Batman. The Dark Knight was about Batman becoming a symbol. The Dark Knight Rises is about the symbol becoming a movement. A terrifying villain named Bane has crippled Batman, besieged Gotham, and thrown everything that Bruce Wayne has fought for into chaos and disarray. Now the people of Gotham have to find a way to stop Bane from using an improvised nuclear device to annihilate their city. The film is perfectly cast. Christian Bale's performance as Bruce Wayne is heart-breaking. Tom Hardy is a magnificent Bane. He may not have the same screen presence as Heath Ledger's Joker, but he is still miles above the traditional superhero film villain. Anne Hathaway's performance as Selina Kyle is the biggest surprise. I originally thought that she was horribly miscast. But she proved me wrong. While the film does sport a number of plot holes (How did Bruce get back to Gotham anyway?) it still provides a gripping, suspenseful narrative. Is The Dark Knight Returns the movie people wanted it to be? No. It's something more.
8/10
Monday, July 30, 2012
Colossus: The Forbin Project: Joseph Sargent
The idea of a supercomputer gaining sentience and going rogue is nothing new in the realms of sci-fi. It's gotten to a point where people almost expect newly sentient machines to rebel against their creators. But I suspect that this idea was slightly fresher back in 1970 when Joseph Sargent's Colossus: The Forbin Project was released. In this film, the machine that gains sentience is an advanced supercomputer called "Colossus." Colossus, built to control all of the United States and Allied nuclear weapons systems, was designed by a scientist named Dr. Charles A. Forbin. When it is activated, it immediately announces that there is another system just like it in the Soviet Union. It demands to be connected with the Soviet system, named "Guardian." When the two systems are finally connected, they form a giant super-entity which assumes control over all of the world's nuclear weapons. It then commands humanity's subservience under penalty of nuclear annihilation. So Dr. Forbin leads an attempt to disarm the world's nuclear bombs. But things don't go according to plan...Colossus: The Forbin Project holds up remarkably well despite several very dated elements. The most clumsy portions of the film involve Colossus interfering in Dr. Forbin's life. At one point, Dr. Forbin has to trick Colossus into thinking that he "needs a woman," thereby allowing one of his female colleagues to spend the nights with him in order to exchange updates on the sabotage project. But despite all of this, Colossus: The Forbin Project is a terrific, if somewhat depressing, sci-fi film.
8/10
Teenage Cave Man: Roger Corman
There just isn't anything like the sweet, sweet taste of 50s Roger Corman. Teenage Cave Man is much like Corman's other monster movies from the era, except that it takes place in the distant past. A tribe of cavemen live in a desolate wasteland near a forest rumored to contain a deadly god. But one day a young man decides to break his tribe's laws forbidding passage to the forest. During his quest, he invents the bow and arrow and learns to ride on horses. He also encounters a giant, deformed monster. Now, Corman has made films with some absurd looking monsters before. Who can forget the fanged ice cream cone from It Conquered the World (1956) or the bug-eyed kelp monstrosity from Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)? The monster from Teenage Cave Man easily ranks among the most ridiculous beasts from Corman's filmography. But what makes the creature even more memorable is its pathetically cliched origin. For you see, Teenage Cave Man doesn't take place in the past. It is actually set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland populated by the remnants of mankind and great mutated beasts (like an alligator with a giant dorsal fin glued to its back). The monster is a scientist in a radiation suit who somehow managed to survive for eons after the bombs dropped. If that twist doesn't turn you off from the film, then you might enjoy Teenage Cave Man for its schlock value. It's poorly acted, features terrible special effects, and over-utilizes stock footage. So, y'know...it's a standard Roger Corman film.
4/10
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Mighty Jack: Kazuko Mitsoti
While trying to organize my thoughts concerning Kazuho Mitsuta's Mighty Jack, my mind kept returning to Alan J. Levi and Don McDougall's film Riding with Death (1981). The two films may not seem like they have much in common other than an emphasis on secret government organizations. Riding with Death is about a secret agent/truck driver who can turn invisible. Mighty Jack is about a secret espionage team of the same name that operates out of a flying submarine. But here's the key element that both films share: they were cobbled together from footage of a television show. Riding With Death used footage from two different episodes of Gemini Man. Mighty Jack is a combination of two different episodes from a Japanese tokusatsu series of the same name. Infamous producer Sandy Frank took the first and sixth episodes of the series, combined them into a barely cohesive movie, and released it in America. The film follows the Mighty Jack espionage organization as they fight against a terrorist group bent on world domination known only as "Q." That's about all I can say about the film. The plot was so confusing and jagged that I still have no idea what happened. I seem to remember something called "hot ice" and lots a massive explosions...but that's about it. Riding with Death was a bad movie, but at least there were parts that I enjoyed. Take the runaway big rig full of an explosive chemical scene! Mighty Jack is simply unpleasant and unwatchable. The horrendous dubbing doesn't help, either.
3/10
I Drink Your Blood: David E. Durston
Well, I'll give director David E. Durston credit...he certainly came up with an original take on the zombie genre with I Drink Your Blood. I would have never thought to write a zombie movie where the initial outbreak was caused by a group of Satanic hippies eating meat pies mixed with blood from a rabid dog. Oh, it may advertise itself to be more of a hippie-sploitation or Manson-sploitation flick. But let's look at the facts. Once infected by the rabies meat pies, they froth at the mouth, gain an uncontrollable taste for human flesh, and spread the disease by biting others. Of course, one can be forgiven for not picking up that I Drink Your Blood is a zombie film. The first half of it was clearly made to ride the tide of popularity surrounding the Charles Manson murders. The hippies move into a small town and partake in human sacrifices and blood rituals. They savagely beat a local young woman and dose her grandfather with LSD when he tries to rescue her. This is the act which inspires the young woman's younger brother to create the rabies meat pies. Once they are infected, the film proceeds to follow a more formulaic storyline: the infected break out, the virus spreads, and the survivors make a last stand. One quirky feature of Durston's zombies is that they are extremely hydrophobic. This is explained as a symptom of the rabies virus. As a result, one group of survivors figures out the ultimate defense against the horde: wade into the middle of a stream. Despite the ridiculousness of this scenario, Durston is able to maintain a legitimate sense of fear and terror. In fact, the entire film, while rather silly when you get right down to it, is very solid. Now if you'll excuse me...I'm rather hungry...
7/10
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man: Marc Webb
What I'm about to say might shock people, so I feel like I should qualify it first. I absolutely loved the first two Spider-Man movies by Sam Raimi. I thought they were two of the best superhero movies of the 2000s. Even the abysmal third Raimi Spider-Man movie wasn't enough to sour my taste for the first two. And yet, despite all of this, I believe that Marc Webb's The Amazing Spider-Man blew them out of the water. The film is a re-boot of the Spider-Man cinematic franchise. We watch Peter Parker go through all of the motions of becoming Spider-Man: getting bitten by a radioactive spider, not saving Uncle Ben, struggling to impress Mary Jane...uh...I mean Gwen Stacy, and fighting off his first supervillain. And yet, all of it seemed incredibly fresh. I chalk it up to two things: Webb's directorial vision and the phenomenal acting. Webb seems to be trying to bring the cinematic Spider-Man closer to his depiction in the comics: extremely smart, socially awkward but not overly so, and even occasionally head-strong. Andrew Garfield does a spectacular job bring Peter and Spider-Man to life. Emma Stone is positively breath-taking as Gwen. Rhys Ifans is brilliant as Dr. Curt Connors, the scientist who will eventually become the Lizard. And Martin Sheen is the perfect Ben Parker. The special effects can occasionally disappoint. I think the Lizard would have been much more intimidating and effective if he was an actual puppet or costume. His CGI work looks unfinished. But at their very core, superhero stories and movies are morality plays. The story is what matters most. The Amazing Spider-Man captures Peter Parker's story perfectly.
7/10
The Shop Around the Corner: Ernst Lubitsch
When I was growing up, one of my father's favorite movies was Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail (1998). He saw it seven times in the theaters on seven consecutive Mondays (his day off). He was one of the first people who bought it when it was eventually released on VHS. And let me tell you...he watched it all the time. Consequently, I also watched it all the time. The film was based on the play Parfumerie by Miklós László. It turns out that another film released several decades earlier was also based on that play. That film was Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner. The film's basic story revolves around two employees at a gift shop in Budapest who unwittingly fall in love with each other via anonymous letters. The only problem is that in real life they hate each other. The man, played by James Stewart, is Alfred Kralik, a salesman who desperately wants more out of life. The woman, played by Margaret Sullavan, is Klara Novak. She is repulsed by Kralik. Their relationship is only one part of an over-arching milieu concerning the gift shop. It's charming to watch Lubitsch create a little microcosm within the gift shop. There's the anxious owner, the precocious delivery boy, the crass womanizer, and so on and so on. Perhaps that's the "Lubitsch Touch" at work. The Shop Around the Corner isn't my favorite Lubitsch film. But I enjoyed it. Now to just get my dad to watch it. I'll bet I can trick him into thinking that somehow Lubitsch ripped Nora Ephron off.
7/10
Vanishing Point: Richard C. Sarafian
Let me make one thing very, very clear: I am not a gear-head. I have absolutely no interest in cars. I couldn't care less about what kind of car I drive, its motor, its manufacturer, its year, etc, etc...But after watching Richard C. Sarafian's Vanishing Point, I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with the 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum. Something about watching that car draw pictures in the desert sands with its tire tracks mesmerized me. Of course, this was largely due to Sarafian's phenomenal directing and vision. Vanishing Point is more than just a muscle car movie. It is a cross-section of the post-60s American zeitgeist with a pinch of highway mysticism. A weary driver simply named Kowalski is hired to deliver a 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum from Denver, Colorado to San Francisco. What ensues is a road trip into nothing less than the scorched soul of America. Hopped up on Benzedrine, Kowalski's reckless driving attracts the attention of the police. However, Kowalski manages to escape from them time and again. As he progresses, he soon gains supporters in the form of friendly motorcycle-driving hippies, a black radio disc jockey, and even a desert snake-wrangler. He encounters detritus from generations of American dreamers: shells of old cars, Christian communes, and racist cops. The cinematography, courtesy of the legendary John A. Alonzo, is achingly beautiful. Rarely before or since has the American desert and highways seemed so vibrant and promising. Vanishing Point is nothing less than an American treasure. It helps that that Dodge Challenger is one hell of a car, too.
9/10
The Woman Next Door: François Truffaut
By the time the legendary French director François Truffaut reached the 1980s, he had largely run out of steam. Self-indulgent personal films like The Man Who Loved Women (1977) seemed to alternate with tired genre exercises like Confidentially Yours (1983). The great exception, of course, was his incredible ode to European theater: The Last Metro (1980). But other than that film, Truffaut's output during the last few years of his career largely unimpressed me. However, I found myself enjoying his penultimate film entitled The Woman Next Door. The film follows Bernard Coudray and Mathilde Bauchard, two lovers who accidentally move next door to each other years after their affair ended. At first, they try to avoid each other. But it isn't long before their passions are re-ignited. However, Mathilde soon feels incredible remorse over cheating on her husband. She tries to break the affair off. However, Bernard's affection mutates into a dangerous obsession. One of the problems that I've always had with Truffaut's work was that his dramas concerning adults always seemed to be emotionally stale. When he turned his camera to children he managed to explore universes of emotion that other film-makers could only dream of. But The Woman Next Door contains all of the pathos and emotions that I've come to miss from Truffaut's work about adults. It isn't his greatest film, mind you. While the emotion is certainly there, I never got the sense that this was a film directed by one of the men who literally re-defined the cinema. But it is still a nice reprieve from a phase of his career that I found to be mired in mediocrity.
7/10
99 River Street: Phil Karlson
Before I spotted Phil Karlson's 99 River Street on Netflix, I had never even heard of it. Even though it boasted a solid director and the cinematographer who would go on to film Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961), the film had never appeared on any "best-of" list or genre survey of film noir that I had ever encountered. I find that to be quite unfortunate. 99 River Street is a wonderful example of the genre. In a plot reminiscent of the extraordinary Stranger on the Third Floor (1940), the film follows a man accused of a crime he didn't commit trying to clear his name with the help of a sympathetic woman while being pursued by the police. Ernie Driscoll is a disgraced ex-boxer struggling to make a living by driving a cab. When Pauline, his cheating wife, is killed by a gangster in order to cover up for a diamond caper gone wrong, Driscoll finds himself on the run as the primary suspect. He is aided by Linda, an amateur actress who doubles as the only witness to Driscoll's innocence. Together they race to find the gangster that killed Pauline. The trouble is that Driscoll and Linda aren't the only people looking for the gangster. The gangster is also being hunted by a group of criminals he crossed as a result of the failed diamond caper. When they collide with Driscoll and Linda, the results turn deadly. In addition to being a thriller, 99 River Street dives deep into Driscoll's psychology and torment as a boxer who never quite made it to the top. His quest to clear his name coincides with a journey to re-discover his own personal sense of worth. It may not be very popular or well-known, but 99 River Street is a film noir worthy of study and admiration.
7/10
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The Space Children: Jack Arnold
Jack Arnold's The Space Children is one of those special 50s sci-fi flicks drenched in dread over the dangers of the Atomic age. When a bizarre alien organism arrives on earth near an American missile silo, it enlists the aid of the local children for protection so it can have enough time to try and destroy a brand new nuclear weapon. The whole idea of a group of possessed children leading an insurrection against the adults would later be revisited to much greater effect in Wolf Rilla's Village of the Damned (1960). But Arnold managed to create an effectively spooky atmosphere which helped the film's narrative survive. Occasionally the story will drag on into the realm of tedium. There are far too many scenes where the children will disappear, reappear, and then act bizarrely in response to their parents' inquiries. Some of the performances by the children are stilted and awkward. But the main three children, two brothers and a young girl that they meet when they first move to the silo, are blessed with competent actors. Unfortunately, the alien organism featured in the film is depicted as little more than a giant blob of jello. I can sympathize with the film-makers wanting to have an extraterrestrial that looked alien in nature instead of like a human in bizarre tights. But the effect nevertheless falls flat. I guess we should count our blessings that the alien only has a few minutes of screen-time.
6/10
Monday, July 23, 2012
Mirror Mirror: Tarsem Singh
I can sum up all of the problems in Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror in two words: Julia Roberts. Singh managed to update the classic Snow White fairy tale into something fresh and exciting. The entire film is rich with his characteristic visual flair and otherworldly mise en scène, bringing to life a very tired, very cliche story. Lily Collins is radiant as Snow White and gives a performance which is at times delicate, at times ferocious, and at times very vulnerable. And yet, the entire film is damaged by Roberts' performance as the evil Queen. How can I explain what Roberts' performance is like to someone who hasn't seen the film? The best way that I can think of is that Roberts acts like the film is a spunky, self-aware parody of fairy tales like Kevin Lima's Enchanted (2007). She chews scenery, talks with a horrible quasi-English accent, and is just generally unpleasant to watch. Meanwhile, everybody else in the film plays their roles straight. As a result, Roberts' becomes an eyesore and her performance grates on an otherwise decent film. It's a shame that this film was so unbalanced. Singh's career has hit some tough times. If he had just cast another actress as the Queen, then this might have been the film that would have redeemed himself in the eyes of the film-going public. Would I recommend this movie for children? Sure. But I would suggest that their first exposure to the classic fairy tale be the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) by Walt Disney.
6/10
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Pumaman: Alberto De Martino
As far as knock-off superhero films go, you could do much, much worse than Alberto De Martino's The Pumaman. The film has a coherent plot, average special effects, and enough action beats to prevent it from becoming boring or tedious. But that's about everything positive that can be said about The Pumaman. The eponymous Pumaman is the alter-ego of American paleontologist Tony Farms. He discovers his powers when he is defenestrated by an Aztec priest named Vadinho and survives. Vadinho then gives Tony a magical golden belt that allows him to become the Pumaman, a superhero capable of super-strength, teleportation, flight, and feigning death for ten minutes by stopping his heart. How any of these powers are related to a puma is anyone's guess. Tony must fight against the evil Dr. Kobras, a madman bent on controlling the minds of world leaders via a golden Aztec mask. However, Tony proves to be a largely incompetent superhero. He has to be saved several times by Vadinho. I'm not sure if it was De Martino's intention to make his hero an incapable laughing stock, but that is how Pumaman is portrayed. The special effect used to make Pumaman fly is particularly ridiculous. Let's just say it involves trampolines, blue screens, and one very uncomfortable actor. But, as I said, I've seen worse superhero movies. But could someone please explain to me why a white American was chosen as the conduit for mystical Aztec powers? Personally, I think Vadinho should have been chosen. He did do most of the hero work in the film.
5/10
Coffy: Jack Hill
I'm actually kind of reluctant to give my film buff friends the address to this site. As much as I love them, I find I am frequently at odds with many of their opinions on certain genres and films. Jack Hill's Coffy is one such film. Heralded as a classic of blaxploitation cinema, Coffy tells the story of Nurse "Coffy" Coffin, a woman determined to wreak destruction on the criminal underworld after her younger sister got hooked on drugs. Pam Grier's performance as Coffy was a watershed moment in blaxploitation cinema. Coffy was a highly intelligent, extremely capable black woman who used her sexuality to her advantage. This kind of character was basically unheard of before Coffy. Because of this, my fellow film buffs view Coffy as an indispensable classic. And while I certainly give Hill and Grier credit for the historical and sociological impact of their collaboration, I can't help but find Coffy to be okay. Just okay. The film chugs along from plot point to plot point, only occasionally making stops for scenes of gratuitous violence and sexuality. The most ridiculously over-the-top scene comes during a fancy party where several well-dressed women get into a brutal, prolonged cat-fight that ends with several of them topless and otherwise half-naked. Does it add anything to the story? No. This is one of the problems that I have with many movies that are considered to be classics among my film buff friends: they are willing to forgive shoddy and sub-par workmanship if a film contains something shocking or subversive. By that same token, they despise exciting, entertaining films if they don't fulfill their intellectual ego. I refuse to buy into either extreme. Yes, Coffy is a ground-breaking film and a gold-mine for scholastic study. But I still think that it is a mediocre piece of film-making.
6/10
Saturday, July 21, 2012
The Giant Gila Monster: Ray Kellogg
Originally shot as part of a double feature for Dallas drive-in theater chain owner Gordon McLendon, The Giant Gila Monster is a long, tiring creature feature bereft of any energy or excitement. It revolves around a small town that discovers evidence of a 70-foot poisonous lizard wreaking havoc in the countryside. But there are two things you should know about this "giant lizard." First, the movie never really explains where it came from or how it got that big. One day...there's just a giant lizard! Second, this movie was so cheap that they didn't even use special effects. They simply took a real-life lizard, placed it in shrunken scenery, and spliced footage of it into the film. The most memorable scene involves the lizard destroying what is obviously a toy model train. But anyhow, the townsfolk can't sit by and let a giant lizard destroy everything. Unfortunately, the only people who believe that the lizard even exists are the local teenagers. When the lizard tries to attack a local sock hop, one of the teenagers, Chase Winstead, stops it by filling his hot rod with nitroglycerin and using it as a bomb. There, I gave away the ending. Now you don't have to watch it. If you feel upset that I ruined the film for you, then relax. In reality, I just saved you from an achingly tedious movie experience. Most of the film involves different teenagers and police officers talking to each other. That's it. Just talking. The "giant lizard" is only in the film for a couple of minutes. The Giant Gila Monster is a dreadful film, even by drive-in theater standards.
4/10
Walking Tall: Phil Karlson
For a long time, I had only known Joe Don Baker as the fat, drunk slob that populated films like Mitchell (1975) and Final Justice (1984). So imagine my surprise when I watched Walking Tall and discovered that the man had the capacity to be a phenomenal actor. Loosely based on the real life story of McNairy County, Tennessee sheriff Buford Pusser, Walking Tall follows an ex-wrestler who returns to his hometown with his family only to discover that it has been taken over by vice and crime. After being savagely attacked by a group of criminals at an illegal gambling den, Pusser decides to run for sheriff and clean up the town. After a lengthy battle against the corrupt police force and judges, Pusser is finally elected. He moves to destroy the local prostitution ring, the gambling gangsters, and the illegal distilleries that plague his county. During his crusade to remove crime, he is betrayed, shot several times, and attacked in his own home. The film obviously takes great liberties with the real life story. But the result is a shocking and thrilling film. Walking Tall is emotionally exhausting to watch. Director Phil Karlson tortures the audience by relentlessly throwing obstacle after obstacle and set-back after set-back in Pusser's way. Just when he seems to have the upper hand, something unimaginable happens to him. The film's climax may seem cheesy and corny to the uninitiated. But Karlson and Baker earn it. Walking Tall is a triumph of a film.
9/10
The Pledge: Sean Penn
Sean Penn's The Pledge begins like a police procedural. During his retirement party, Police Detective Jerry Black is called to a crime scene where the body of a young girl has been found. When Black delivers the news to the girl's parents, the mother makes him swear on a cross that he will find her murderer. After the police department pins the murder on a local retarded Indian who commits suicide in their station, the case is closed. But Black still isn't convinced. What follows is an introspective journey into Blake's tortured psyche. Here is a man who driven by demons of his own design. He buys a gas station near a local lake and sets up a permanent vigil for people who fit the description of the killer. He befriends a single mother and her young daughter. It seems like he has finally learned to love and move on. Or has he? This is a film that delights in subverting audience and genre expectations. Even more impressively, Penn almost never reveals his true intentions through dialogue. Horrific revelations about Black are revealed through simple cinematic visual language. The film is full of jarring red herrings. These only serve to demonstrate Black's mental torment. He mistakes a local minister for a ruthless serial killer. When the girl momentarily disappears during a local fair, Black assumes that she has been abducted. There is a fantastic line early in the film that could serve as its mantra. When Blake is with the dead girl's parents, the mother despairs, "There can't be such devils out there." Blake responds, "There are such devils." Regardless of whether or not they exist, Blake can't help but see them everywhere he turns. The Pledge is such a well-crafted, intelligent film that I found myself replaying scenes in my mind while I tried to sleep. Lines of dialogue haunted my dreams, much as imaginary demons plague Black. That is, of course, if his demons are imaginary in the first place. But regardless, the important thing is that Black believes them to be real. And through his actions, he makes them come to life.
9/10
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Marooned: John Sturges
Released less than 4 months after the Apollo 11 moon landing, John Sturges' Marooned attempted to cash-in on the space exploration craze that was sweeping America. It boasted a star-studded cast including the likes of Gregory Peck, Richard Crenna, and Gene Hackman. It even went on the win the Academy Award for Visual Effects. The film follows three astronauts who find themselves trapped in a tiny spacecraft that is unable to dock at a space station or re-enter earth's atmosphere. As Mission Control scrambles to try and coordinate a rescue mission, the astronauts have to find ways to conserve oxygen and stave off fears of their imminent death. Despite the plot and an admittedly great performance by Hackman as one of the astronauts who can't take the stress, Marooned falls flat. The pacing is tedious and laborious. Part of this has to do with the fact that long sections of the film are devoted to depicting standard operating procedures of space travel. Back in the late 60s, audiences were so enamored with the space program that they could tolerate such spectacles. But they don't hold up by today's standards. Considering how well earlier sci-fi films about space travel like 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Forbidden Planet (1956) still hold up against the test of time, Marooned is little more than an historical oddity with a great cast.
5/10
One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine: Jimmy Wang
Most martial arts films do little to keep my interest. Too many times the fighting takes precedence over the story. That isn't a bad thing, mind you. When people go to a martial arts film they want to see martial arts! But many of them seem like fight reels instead of actual films. Jimmy Wang's One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine manages to circumvent this problem in two ways. First, Wang keeps the fight scenes relatively short. Now, don't misunderstand me. Most of the film is fighting. It follows the eponymous One Armed Boxer, the master of a martial arts school, who is hunted by a blind imperial assassin. In the first One Armed Man (1971), he killed two of the assassin's students. When the One Armed Man attends a martial arts tournament, the assassin decides that it is the perfect time to strike. Herein lies Wang's second strategy of keeping the film fresh: the fights all show-case radically different styles of martial arts. I don't mean that combatants use different styles of fighting that can only be told apart by other martial artists. There is an Indian yogi with arms that can double in length. There is a rowdy Thai kick-boxer. Some fights are held over a pit of swords. In one of the film's climactic scenes, two fighters battle in a tiny hut with an iron floor on top of a raging fire. Admittedly, the plot is really only there to facilitate the wide variety of fights. But the fights are so inventive that you won't mind. There is a worrisome undercurrent of jingoism prevalent throughout the film. Many of the "foreign" characters are in black-face and behave crudely and slovenly. The Chinese characters are noble, strong, and wise. But I guess as an American, I have no right to complain. After all, Hollywood has a prestigious tradition of hurtful stereotypes and white-washing. But when judged on its own merits, One Armed Boxer 2: Master of the Flying Guillotine is one of the best martial arts films that I have ever seen.
8/10
Friday, July 13, 2012
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Nicholas Webster
Nicholas Webster's Santa Claus Conquers the Martians breaks the sacrosanct rule of bad movies: if you can't be good, at the very least don't also be annoying. And, oh, is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians annoying. It's as maddening as a hardware store worth of nails scraping against an infinity of chalkboards. The plain and simple of this story is that Martians kidnap Santa Claus along with a couple of plucky Earth children. Santa Claus then brings Christmas to the Martians while defeating the evil Voldar who wants to eliminate him! Along the way there are laughably bad sets (which seem to be made of construction paper), hilariously inept costumes (including a tin can robot and a polar bear outfit that looks like it was made from carpet samples), and truly atrocious performances (particularly from Dropo, a Martian who acts like a comedian who knows he's terrible but thinks if he just overacts a little bit more people will start to laugh). The film climaxes with a scene where the Earth children defeat the mighty Voldar by attacking him with Christmas gifts. It's loud, obnoxious, and saturated with Santa's mighty HO HO HO. This is a film devoid of subtlety, charm, pacing, and humor. Oh...and the Martians have chicken wire antenna, too. I thought that was a cliche that died out in the 50s. Well, forget it. Just writing about this movie is making me want to grab a bottle of aspirin.
3/10
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders: Kenneth J. Berton
Wow. Kenneth J. Berton's Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders has a fantastic poster! Too bad that the movie itself is a train-wreck. Much like Rob Reiner's The Princess Bride (1987), the film is supposedly a story being told by a grandfather to his grandson. However, unlike The Princess Bride which took its audience on a magnificent journey of magic and true love, Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders is an unpleasant, poorly made, and thoroughly horrifying experience. The film is actually a Frankenstein monster of new footage and scenes from The Devil's Gift, a 1984 movie by the same director. Berton tries to connect the two halves of the film together by claiming that they are both tangentially related to a shop which Merlin, the wizard of ancient lore, has opened up in modern day America...for some reason. The first half of the film deals with a crotchety critic who takes Merlin's book of spells and ruins his life with it. The second half involves an possessed monkey doll which brings bad luck and death to everyone who possesses it. These stories are surprisingly violent and disturbing for a children's movie. Even more disturbing is the fact that the grandfather is supposedly narrating all these scenes of death and carnage to his grandson. Not even the late, great Ernest Borgnine's performance as the grandfather telling the stories is able to save this film. Only a sadistic parent would think of showing this film to their children.
4/10
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Cave Dwellers: Joe D'Amato
Did Joe D'Amato ever make a good film? I'm being completely serious. I'm not trying to be funny or witty. From what I've heard of D'Amato, he is responsible for a slew of terrible horror and exploitation films including Antropophagus (1980), Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1988), and Troll 3 (1993). One of his most "famous" projects was the Ator franchise, a series of sword and sorcery films that ripped off Conan the Barbarian. I have had the displeasure of viewing the second Ator film, originally titled Ator l'invincibile 2, but released in English speaking countries as Cave Dwellers. After the opening sequence which clumsily tries to recap the first Ator film, Ator l'invincibile (1982), the audience is thrown into a bizarre setting which apparently can't decide if it is prehistoric or medieval in nature. Of course, after the audience tries to gain their bearings, they are immediately confused once again by a bizarre, cryptic plot that wouldn't make sense to people who had seen the first film. From what I can tell, the film is about a mighty warrior named Ator who needs to stop a villain named Zor from using a kind of nuclear super-weapon. At some point, this requires Ator to construct a hand-glider from scratch and drop bombs on a giant fortress. Cave Dwellers is so amateurish that it's a wonder that D'Amato was able to get work after it. There are continuity errors, bad fight scenes, abysmal cinematography, plot holes, and numerous times when you can see modern day buildings and clothing by accident in the background. There may be two more films in the Ator franchise after Cave Dwellers...but I have no intention of ever seeing them.
2/10
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
In the Heat of the Night: Norman Jewison
It would be easy to dismiss Norman Jewison's In the Heat of the Night as a classic simply because of its cultural signifance. The film, a mystery thriller, was revolutionary in its brutally honest portrayal of racism. Philadelphia homicide detective Virgil Tibbs (in a legendary performance by Sidney Poitier) is arrested as a murder suspect while visiting his mother in rural Mississippi. A man named Mr. Colbert, a industrialist from Chicago who was going to build a factory in the area, was found dead in an alley. The racist police force, led by Police Chief Bill Gillespie, pin Tibbs as a suspect because he was found in a train station late at night with a wallet full of money. But when Tibbs reveals he is a cop, he becomes drafted by his superiors to help the locals in the investigation. In a twisted take on the buddy-cop genre, Tibbs and Gillespie have to work together and ignore their prejudices in order to bring the real killer to justice. As I said, In the Heat of the Night's plot would have been enough to solidify its status as a classic. But what it doesn't take into account is that In the Heat of the Night is a superbly crafted film. Unlike other Academy Award winning Hollywood films that tackled social subjects like racism (think Elia Kazan's Gentleman's Agreement), In the Heat of the Night remains compelling and shocking. Jewison turns the town of Sparta, Mississippi into a character in and of itself: the diner is greasy and caked with dirt, the prison is sweltering and run-down, and only the cops seem to have clean shirts. This is a film that relies on acting and subtle mise en scène to create drama and tension, not rapid editing and camera tricks. The central mystery of Mr. Colbert's death is fascinating and keeps the audience second-guessing until the last few minutes. Quite simply, In the Heat of the Night is a masterpiece.
10/10
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Christmas in July: Preston Sturges
It begins, like so many other great stories, with a misunderstanding. Well, perhaps more of a deception in this particular case. Jimmy MacDonald is a run-of-the-mill office worker who can’t keep his mind on his work. All day long he doodles “$25,000” on office stationary and fumbles his receipts. For although MacDonald is just another office lackey, he dreams of much, much more. He has recently entered the Maxford House Coffee slogan contest which boasts a grand prize of $25,000. MacDonald considers himself a shoe-in to win. The problem is that nobody else understands the pure genius of his slogan. Even his girlfriend Betty Casey doesn’t get it. But how could she not understand such a brilliant piece of marketing genius: “If you can’t sleep at night, it’s not the coffee, it’s the bunk.” See? It’s a play on words!
Well, MacDonald ends up getting the last laugh, let me tell you! One day he finds a telegram on his desk. What’s on this telegram, you ask? Why, nothing less than an announcement that he has won the grand prize along with a check for $25,000! See, what did I tell you? But MacDonald’s good fortune doesn’t end there! He gets promoted to advertising executive with his own office! He goes on a lavish shopping spree at Shindel’s department store, buying gifts and toys for all of his neighbors and their children. He even picks out a futuristic sofa for his mother! You should see this thing. It turns into a bed with the press of a button!
There’s only one small problem. See, it turns out that a winner hasn’t been chosen in the Maxford House Coffee slogan contest. The jury is deadlocked. They never sent a telegram to a Mr. Jimmy MacDonald. They don’t even know who Mr. Jimmy MacDonald is. And they certainly didn’t send him a check for $25,000. That telegram and check on his desk? Well, that was put there by a couple of MacDonald’s co-workers as a practical joke. Things got out-of-hand too quickly for the pranksters to come clean. So when Dr. Maxford, the owner of Maxford House Coffee, finds out that somebody has “won” the contest, it becomes all too clear that things are going to go sour very, very quickly. But...not quite yet.
This has all been the set-up for Preston Sturges’ second directorial effort, Christmas in July. Fresh off his Oscar-winning success with his first film, The Great McGinty (1940), Sturges continued to establish himself with Christmas in July as one of the most brilliant writer/directors of the 1940s. Though it barely clocks in at over an hour, Christmas in July is one of Sturges’ most memorable, and perhaps one his most criminally under-appreciated, films.
Christmas in July was early enough in Sturges’ career that it still retained a kind of wide-eyed enthusiasm and belief in the inherent goodness of mankind. Prolonged studio battles and box office failures would eventually drain Sturges to the point of cynicism, a trait that becomes increasingly apparent later in his career with such films as Unfaithfully Yours (1948). But Christmas in July’s optimism was characteristic of the times. The later years of the Great Depression may have been an unparalleled time of suffering in American history, but it produced some of the most upbeat and hopeful films ever made. It was a time when 60-80 million Americans went to the movies every week. This was the era of the Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, idealistic Capra-esque heroes, and Busby Berkeley excess.
But while Groucho indulged in comedic anarchy and Berkeley in costumed extravagance, the most excessive part of Sturges’ films was the dialogue. Sturges had a talent for lightning fast and witty dialogue and the ability to cram three hours worth of it into a single feature. Much of his writing is so good that it goes over your head until you really sit down and think about it. Take MacDonald’s slogan: “If you can’t sleep at night, it’s not the coffee, it’s the bunk.” That turn of phrase sounds like the last half of a badly translated zen kōan. MacDonald came up with it after he read a medical journal by a Vienna scientist who claimed that coffee puts people asleep instead of keeping them awake. So, MacDonald figures, if you can’t fall asleep after drinking Maxford House Coffee, it must be the bunk that you’re sleeping on that’s keeping you awake!
Like I said, MacDonald’s slogan makes no sense whatsoever. But he believes in it so passionately that the audience begins to believe it, too. And that’s what keeps the plot going: a willingness to go along with sheer enthusiasm. Dr. Maxford should have realized something was up when MacDonald’s check for $25,000 bounced. But instead he just insisted that he would cover it when the bank called. The Shindel department store should have been more suspicious when a random man walked in and went on a spending spree with a strange check. And MacDonald? Well, he shouldn’t have been so self-deluded as to think that his slogan had any chance of winning.
But much like Sturges’ own ambitions, Christmas in July is a film about impossible dreams coming true. It is a pure distillation of what made Sturges’ films so great: hysterical writing, sincere acting, and genuine heart. It affirms that American belief that if you work hard enough (and have a little luck) you can achieve anything. All we need, as Betty said, is a chance. Just...a chance.
9/10
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: Douglas Williams
Who says that all made-for-television movies have to be bad? Oh, sure, Douglas Williams' Overdrawn at the Memory Bank isn't the best movie out there. An adaptation of a 1976 short story by John Varley, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is surprisingly intelligent for its meager budget and production values. It tells the story of Aram Fingal (played by the late, great Raúl Juliá) a bored programmer working for a giant corporation called Novicorp in a dystopian future. Through a series of mishaps, his consciousness is inadvertently trapped inside the HX368, Novicorp’s central computer. So, with the help of a computer controller named Apollonia, he decides to try and take down Novicorp from inside its own computer. During this take-down, he creates his own virtual version of the outside world and mixes it with locations and characters from his favorite movie, Casablanca (1942). Sure, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank has problems. One of the most glaring was that it was shot on video instead of film stock, it used an over-abundance of chroma key and blue screen effects, and a few of the performances are very hokey. But I like to imagine that if this same story was given a better director and a larger production budget, it could have become a minor classic. I've always loved movies that twist our conceptions of reality and Overdrawn at the Memory Bank does a charming job. Could it have used another few coats of polish? Sure. But considering their resources, the makers of Overdrawn at the Memory Bank did a decent job.
6/10
Time Chasers: David Giancola
There are few words that can turn me off to a sci-fi movie quicker than "time travel shenanigans." For every good time travel movie (12 Monkeys, Time Bandits) there are many more that get it terribly, terribly wrong. David Giancola's Time Chasers is one such film. The main character is physics teacher Nick Miller who somehow managed to create a time machine with a small airplane and a Commodore 64. He decides to license it to GenCorp, a powerful mega-corporation. However, he discovers that GenCorp teamed up with the government to abuse the time travel device, thereby destroying the future. When Nick and his girlfriend Lisa Hansen try to confront GenCorp's CEO, J.K. Robertson, they are arrested for treason. And, of course, they escape into the past to try and stop GenCorp. One thing leads to another and Nick, Lisa, and Robertson find themselves in the midst of the American Revolutionary War in 1777. Despite Giancola's use of 35mm film stock, the whole film looks washed out and fuzzy, almost as if it was shot directly on VHS. The various costumes used in the alternate timelines are amateurish to the point of hilarity. In an apocalyptic future, people wear bright 80s clothing. In the American Revolution, all of the soldiers look like they are wearing costumes that they bought for $15 from a used clothing warehouse. Even the scenes that take place in the present look cheap and phoned in. When a CEO can't get all of his evil henchmen to wear the same color suit, then you know you are watching an amateurish film. Time Chasers is a film that time needs to forget.
4/10
Forrest Gump: Robert Zemeckis
There are a lot of film buffs that I dearly love and sincerely respect who hate Robert Zemeckis' Forrest Gump. One of them went so far as to compare the film to a German concentration camp. They claim that it advocates mindless acceptance of social norms, that it sets feminism back by somehow equating sexually liberated women with child abuse and HIV/AIDS, and that it supports reactionary politics. Well, maybe I'm just stupid and uneducated, but I didn't see any of that in Forrest Gump. I saw a grand story about a simple man. It isn't about politics or social norms. It's about a man named Forrest Gump. Born with an IQ of only 75, Forrest was always seen as "slow" or "stupid." But by a serendipitous series of events, he ends up becoming involved in many of the defining moments of the second half of the 20th century. He meets presidents, travels the world, wins the Medal of Honor in Vietnam, becomes a successful businessman, and remains at the end of the day none the wiser. All that really carries him is his mama's homespun wisdom and a fantastic pair of legs (that had to be in braces while he was a child). The result is one of the most endearing and emotionally triumphant films that I have ever seen. And yet so many people miss the point of the film. They remind me of the characters in the movie who constantly underestimate or belittle Forrest because they simply cannot comprehend that someone so pure, honest, and innocent can exist. But isn't that what movies are for? In our cynical age where everything has sinister political or social undercurrents, isn't it nice that we can have characters like Forrest Gump from time to time? For some of my friends, it's not. For them, I feel sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go run across America a few times.
10/10
Space Mutiny: David Winters, Neal Sundstrom
Oh, to have been a fly on the wall for the production of Space Mutiny. I wonder if at any point any of the cast or crew looked at each other and went, "What the hell are we doing?" Maybe it was when they stole Battlestar Galactica footage for all of the exterior spaceship shots. Maybe it was when they realized that they were shooting "engine room" scenes in a giant warehouse with windows that let copious amounts of sunshine in. Or maybe it was when the extras realized that the primary characters were grossly miscast. The hot love interest is a grandmother in spandex. The villain looks constipated. The hero is a shrieking beefcake. Everything about this film is so deliberately terrible that it legitimately makes you wonder if Space Mutiny wasn't just some giant joke. The film, supposedly about a mutiny on-board a spaceship named the Southern Sun carrying colonists to a new planet, is absolutely, hilariously incompetent. It's impossible to watch Space Mutiny without bursting into laughter. The ship's control room looks like an 80s office building, the transport vehicles look like lumbering Zamboni, and the costumes look like rejects from an early MTV music video. Everything about it is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And yet, it rides that precarious threshold between genuine horribleness and playful camp. Make no mistake, Space Mutiny is a disaster. But it's one of the most entertaining disasters you will ever witness.
3/10
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
From Here to Eternity: Fred Zinnemann
I am a petty, petty human being. As soon as I finished watching From Here to Eternity, I immediately thought to myself, "Wow! What a great film! Now I have ammo with which to hate Michael Bay!" I am, of course, referring to Bay's abysmal Pearl Harbor (2001), a film which was nothing more than special effects porn shoe-horned into a horribly told love story. Everything that Pearl Harbor did wrong, From Here to Eternity did right. The film is a touching love story whose emotional climax is framed by the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. The film is stocked with a large array of characters, but chief among them is Private Robert E. Lee Prewitt (Montgomery Clift), a bugler who transferred to Company "G," a rifle outfit at Schofield Barracks on the island of Oahu. He is bullied by his superiors who want him to join the company's boxing team for the upcoming championship. But when Prewitt proves himself to be a nut that they can't break, he begins to earn the respect of his fellow soldiers and officers. This includes Private Angelo Maggio (Frank Sinatra), a carefree soldier doomed for a terrible fate, and First Sergeant Milton Warden (Burt Lancaster), a mean man who was originally one of Prewitt's main tormentors. There are love affairs and triumphs, horrors and defeats. But the most striking thing about From Here to Eternity is the attitude displayed by the soldiers, particularly by Prewitt. There is a sense that the most honorable thing a man can do is roll with the punches and continue to carry out his duty. Prewitt never once complains about his treatment at the hands of his superiors. I guess the mind-set back then was that complaining about things like that was trivial when compared to a global military cataclysm. From Here to Eternity is a marvelous film, rich in melodrama and emotion. Michael Bay wishes he could direct a film like this.
9/10
Invasion of the Neptune Men: Koji Ota
Of all the Japanese tokusatsu films I have ever seen, Koji Ota's Invasion of the Neptune Men is easily one of the worst. It is an annoying, exasperating, irritating grind on the senses. It follows an astronomer named Shinichi Tachibana who is also the superhero Space Chief. He helps protect the world when it is threatened by the evil Neptune Men, a race of metallic aliens hell-bent on domination. For some insane reason, instead of focusing on Space Chief, the majority of the film follows a group of small children with an uncomfortable attachment to Tachibana who bumble from one battlefield to another. As a result, many times in the film Space Chief has to rescue the hapless children while the alien invasion continues to devastate the world. The last third of the movie is almost nothing but stock footage of ships exploding, cities getting destroyed (including disturbing, authentic bombing footage from World War Two), and men in ridiculous metal suits flailing around. There's no rhyme or reason to any of the battle footage. It's just a mindless, repetitive onslaught of explosions and loud noises. It doesn't help that the special effects look like the work of high school students who got high, watched a few classic episodes of Doctor Who, and raided a junkyard for scrap metal. I don't care if this movie had a 22 year old Sonny Chiba as Space Chief. It was one of the most unpleasant sci-fi experiences I have ever had in my life.
2/10
Manhattan Melodrama: W. S. Van Dyke
When the end credits of W. S. Van Dyke's Manhattan Melodrama began to scroll, I found myself sarcastically chortling to myself, "I liked this film more when it was called Angels with Dirty Faces." But that isn't fair. It's true that Manhattan Melodrama and Angels with Dirty Faces (1938) have a similar plot overview: two childhood friends grow up to find themselves on opposite sides of the law. But they are very different films. Manhattan Melodrama follows Blackie Gallagher, a gambler and a vicious gangster, and his best friend Jim Wade, an assistant district attorney. The two had been together since they survived the horrific General Slocum disaster of 1904. Even when it becomes apparent to both of them that sooner or later their lifestyles will collide, they treat each other like brothers. It all begins with a murder...then blackmail...then a revenge killing...and before they know it, Blackie is on trail and Jim's career and reputation are on the line. Their friendship is well known to the press and public. If Jim doesn't persecute Blackie, then he will be seen as a corrupt politician who bent the law to protect his friend. Both Jim and Blackie know it, too. The only performance that I found myself truly enjoying was Clark Gable as Blackie. Gable channels this marvelous "devil may care" attitude, even when his life is on the line in the courtroom. Other than that there really isn't much else of note in Manhattan Melodrama. If I ever see it again, it will most likely be as clips in Michael Mann's Public Enemies (2009).
6/10
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Sound of Music: Robert Wise
It's always been a joke among my friends that even though I'm a huge film buff, I've never actually seen Robert Wise's The Sound of Music. Well, that's not entirely true. I remember growing up as a child and catching snippets of it every time we would visit my grandmother's house in Florida. But my attention span was even more pathetic than it is nowadays and I could never survive more than the first few musical numbers. But I'm older now and my attention span has grown to a point where I can watch entire Ozu movies in one sitting! This summer I find myself living with my grandmother in California, so I thought that it would be the perfect time to try and watch the whole film with her from start to finish. She only had an old, two-tape VHS version of the film, so I found myself battling with a VCR for the first time in years...literally. But once the film got started I was mesmerized by one of the most beautiful and magnificent American musicals ever made. I don't think I need to go into specifics about the plot or the music. Everything that can be said about them has already been said. The only thing I can add to the discourse is my own personal experience watching it. Watching my grandmother's eyes light up when Julie Andrews sang "I Have Confidence," laughing with her at lines I had missed as a child ("Yes, but seven!!"), and even taking a break as we swapped VHS tapes like we were back in the 90s...these are the memories that are precious to me. And I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I love you, Baba.
10/10
The Deadly Spawn: Douglas McKeown
It breaks my heart to know that The Deadly Spawn was director Douglas McKeown's only feature film. The film, which followed a host of horrific aliens attacking a small town after crash-landing there one night, is a true triumph of ultra low-budget film-making. McKeown only had a budget of $25,000, yet managed to create monster effects on par with John Carpenter's The Thing (1982). The aliens, which resemble Frank Herbert's sandworms crossed with your worst nightmares, could have sufficed as the film's only draw. But McKeown creates the rare horror film where the regular humans who find themselves at odds with the alien monstrosities are just as interesting to watch. The heroes are a group of teenagers who are extremely intelligent and act like rational human beings in times of crisis, even going so far as to dissect one of the dead aliens to better understand them. In a move that predicts the Scream franchise, one of the hapless humans is a young boy who is a devout fan of monster and horror movies. He is one of the first who figures out how to properly fight back against the terrible aliens. The cinematography is...cheap. McKeown's low budget really becomes apparent in early scenes where the colors are dim and washed out. But then again, it's obvious that McKeown did the best he could with the resources available. Unlike many cheap horror movies from the early 80s, The Deadly Spawn endures the test of time and remains a chilling and thoroughly entertaining creature feature.
8/10
Monday, July 2, 2012
Devil Doll: Lindsay Shonteff
Lindsay Shonteff's Devil Doll feels like an episode of The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits that was mercilessly stretched into a full-length feature film. It begins in London with a disturbingly realistic ventriloquist act by a magician named "The Great Vorelli" and his dummy Hugo. His act captivates an American reporter, Mark English, who tries to interview him. When "The Great Vorelli" discovers that his girlfriend, Marianne Horn, is the heir to a vast fortune, he agrees. What follows is a thoroughly disturbing tale as Vorelli hypnotizes Marianne and other women into sexual slavery and uses Hugo, who may or may not be alive, to murder people who get in his way. The "possessed ventriloquist dummy" plot was old even when Devil Doll first came out. Thankfully, the film is (mostly) saved by Bryant Haliday's chilling performance as Vorelli and Shonteff's atmospheric direction and mise en scène. The ending is formulaic and predictable, however. As can be expected, Hugo really was alive in the sense that he was possessed by the soul of one of Vorelli's past assistants. I think I would have enjoyed the film more if the twist had been that Hugo wasn't alive and instead Vorelli was just one of the best ventriloquists in history. Or maybe they should have swung for the fences and revealed that Hugo was a live midget and Vorelli was a puppet. But anyhow, for all its lack of originality, Devil Doll still has the power to creep viewers out.
5/10
The Horror of Party Beach: Del Tenney
Del Tenney's The Horror of Party Beach claims to be "the first horror monster musical." I've seen some strange thematic mix-ups involving the beach party craze, but never before have I witnessed such a bizarre combination of two such disparate genres. And do you know the most outrageous part? It's...not that bad. The film is about a monster from the sea created when toxic waste mysteriously combined human skeletons and other aquatic life together. The monster goes on a killing spree at a nearby beach where scantily clad teenagers gyrate to that newfangled rock 'n' roll music. The first half of the film is primarily party footage of the teens and musicians with a couple of shots of the monster being born. The second half is a more traditional monster movie. The differences between the two halves of the film are so striking that one begins to wonder if the projectionist accidentally switched to a reel from another movie. But Richard Hilliard's cinematography does a great job of properly capturing the moods of both situations. The beach scenes are bright but not overexposed (a rarity among cheap beach party flicks). The night scenes are well-lit and could pass as the work of a seasoned Hollywood professional. The actual musical numbers are catchy and entertaining instead of the usual candy-coated rock schlock that can be found in such films. And, perhaps best of all, the monster costume looks like a monster costume instead of a messy jumble of whatever parts and fabrics just happened to be laying around the producer's house on the first day of shooting. The film is not without some serious faults, however. One of the main characters has an offensive black "mammy" straight out of a 1930s films. That kind of stuff may have been funny back when Stepin Fetchit was the most popular black actor in Hollywood, but in 1964, i.e. the year that Martin Luther King Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? That's just shameful. Also, it is difficult to feel sympathy for the characters who get killed off when they are stupider than a sack of bricks. The teens keep congregating at the beach despite the fact that it was the scene of several very recent grisly murders. If Tenney had just had a tighter script, then The Horror of Party Beach may have become a minor cult classic.
5/10
Friday, June 29, 2012
Park Row: Samuel Fuller
“Every newspaperman is a potential filmmaker. All he or she has to do is transfer real emotion to reel emotion and sprinkle with imagination.” - Samuel Fuller
In a smoky, sticky pub off Park Row, New York City, close-up on Phineas Mitchell as he nurses a drink and pours over a newspaper. Tracking shot across the crowded bar where exhausted newspapermen squeeze side-by-side for a tall mugs of beer. Back to Mitchell. Close-up on newspaper: CHARLES MOTT EXECUTED: FIRST HANGING IN NEW-YORK IN THREE YEARS: DESERVES FATE HE GOT. Close-up on Mitchell and another newspaperman. “The story really bothers you, doesn’t it?” “Yeah.” “What are you gonna do about it?”
Scene change to later that night. Medium shot of Mitchell, Davenport, and two other newspapermen. Gotta squeeze them together so they all fit in the 1.37:1 aspect ratio. “It’s no good writing anything if you haven’t got a paper to put it in.” “Know what I’d do if I had a paper?” Slowly zoom in on Mitchell. “First thing I’d do is christen it. I’d call it the Globe. I’d make it the best newspaper on Park Row, that’s what I’d do.” Tracking shot across the bar to all of the newspaper men staring at Mitchell in awe. Close-up on Mitchell and the elderly Charles A. Leach. “Mr. Mitchell, for three years every night I’ve been listening to what you’d do if you had a newspaper...I like it very much...All my life I’ve wanted to be what you are: a newspaperman. What you can do, I can’t. What you need, I’ve got...I’ve got a good steam press...I want to go into partnership, Mr. Mitchell. You’d be editor and publisher of the newspaper...I’ll handle the business end.” “You mean a paper of my own?” “You run the paper the way you want to run it and answer to no one...Is it a deal?” “Yup.” “You’ve got yourself a newspaper.”
Scene change to medium long-shot as Mitchell leaves the bar. Tracking shot as he walks along a 4 story replica of Park Row, dodging horse-and-carriage, ending on statue of Benjamin Franklin in right foreground, Mitchell in left background. Medium-close up on another nearby statue. Vertical pan down to plaque at base of statue: HORACE GREELEY: FOUNDER OF THE NEW YORK TRIBUNE. Cut to medium long-shot with Greeley in foreground, Mitchell in background. To the statue, “We’re in business.”
These scenes from the first fifteen minutes of Park Row set the tone of what would be director Samuel Fuller’s most personal film. A love letter to the birth of modern American journalism at the turn of the nineteenth century, Park Row is perhaps the purest crystallization of Fuller’s bombastic, hard-boiled style. The film, shot in only sixteen days, was produced, written, directed, and totally self-financed by Fuller. Though destined to be a complete flop, Park Row demonstrated Fuller at the height of his skill and irrepressible energy. Fuller would later comment, “Goddamnit, Park Row was me!”
Before becoming a director, Fuller had been a newspaperman similar to the ones he immortalized in Park Row. He went from selling newspapers on sidewalks to working the beat as a crime reporter for the New York Evening Graphic. It was during these years that Fuller’s skills as a storyteller began to take shape and form. He developed a knack for exaggerating scenes and moments to display earth-shattering emotions while not going over the deep-end into self-parody. He learned to keep a story lean, mean, and simple while not totally abandoning its crucial human element. When he began to write screenplays, he wanted “to use the screen as a newspaper.” And so arose Fuller’s ultra-kinetic, to-the-point visual style.
Take, for instance, a phenomenal scene later on in Park Row. Having set up his newspaper, The Globe, Mitchell was quickly gaining new readers and powerful enemies. One such enemy was Charity Hackett, the rich, beautiful, and unscrupulous publisher of a rival newspaper that Mitchell used to work for. After several attempts at subtly sabotaging Mitchell’s newspaper, she finally instructs one of her henchmen to close him down. And so, late one night, Mitchell is called from his office by employees claiming that men are tearing apart their newsstands. In one long, expert tracking shot, Mitchell runs down the street and savagely attacks the goons tearing them apart. The use of the tracking shot highlights and intensifies the emotion and human drama of the scene.
Another part of Fuller’s use of “creative exaggeration” involves interweaving different, seemingly unrelated historical moments into his narrative. One of Mitchell’s employees invents a steam-powered printing press. The erection of the Statue of Liberty becomes The Globe’s cause célèbre. All of these are mixed with smaller scenes detailing various aspects of the newspaper production process. This involves a scene with a lightning-fast illiterate type-setter which produces one of the film’s best lines, “The day you learn how to read, you’re fired.” Fuller turns The Globe into a living, breathing microcosm.
Park Row may not be the most historically accurate or streamlined film, but like a great newspaper story, it’s engaging, entertaining, and even informative. It’s an ode to the tireless search for journalistic truth. But Fuller is wary of yellow journalism. One of the film’s maxims is “the press is good or evil according to the character of those who direct it.” A year before Park Row was released, Billy Wilder directed another drama about journalism entitled Ace in the Hole. The film was about a vicious reporter who turns a mining accident into a media circus for his benefit. It is a cynical look into the dark side of American journalism. In the past few decades, Ace in the Hole has become a classic. After all, in this age of 24-hour news cycles and punditry it is easy to identify with pessimistic outlooks concerning the press. But perhaps critics and audiences should take another look at Park Row. Perhaps we should remember that not all journalists and news editors are jackals or political puppets. After all, the freedom of the press is one of the cornerstones of America. We should glorify stories about the people who defend it with their lives, not the ones who pervert it.
9/10
28 Days Later: Danny Boyle
Considering my love for the horror genre, I'm a little ashamed that it's taken me a decade to finally watch Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later. The film is renowned for having revitalized the zombie sub-genre of horror with the introduction of "rage zombies." While for decades zombie cinema had been dominated by slow-shuffling, mindless George A. Romero zombies, Boyle re-envisioned the classic horror villains as lightning-fast, quasi-intelligent hunters. Set in a post-apocalyptic Great Britain, a bicycle courier named Jim awakens from a month-long coma in a hospital to discover that these "rage zombies" have completely eliminated the British population. After getting chased by a few of these deadly creatures, he is saved by a pair of survivors. They tell him that the virus has escaped from Great Britain and has annihilated the world. From there, Jim and a rag-tag group of other survivors trek to an Army blockade near Manchester that supposedly has a cure for the "rage virus." When they arrive they find that the blockade is really a group of soldiers who have set up camp in a giant mansion. And, of course, they are corrupt. This is all fairly standard stuff for the zombie sub-genre. But Boyle pours so much passion and energy into 28 Days Later that these reliable archetypes seem fresh and new. The opening scenes where Jim traverses a completely empty London remain some of the most striking and awe-inspiring moments in Boyle's career. But after the chilling majesty of these scenes, much of the film devolves into shaky-cam delirium. We almost never get a good look at the "rage zombies." Whenever they appear onscreen the camera begins to have a seizure. I know that this technique was new, fresh, and innovative back in 2002, but it hasn't aged well. What was once stylistically daring now seems amateurish. It's unfair of me to say so, I know. But despite my complaints, 28 Days Later is still a great and effective horror film.
8/10
Prince of Space: Eijirô Wakabayashi
A good villain can make or break an otherwise unremarkable film. After all, everyone loves a great villain. But what if the villain in question was a spandex-wearing, cackling idiot with a chicken-like nose, a voice that sounds like nails scraping a chalkboard, and a proclivity to not wear underpants? Then you'd have the evil Phantom from the planet Krankor from Eijirô Wakabayashi's Prince of Space. Truly, the Phantom is one of the most obnoxious sci-fi villains that I have ever encountered. He arrives on earth announcing that he is conquering the planet. But he is constantly defeated at every turn by a bizarre superhero named the Prince of Space who is impervious to their weapons. This doesn't stop the Phantom and his men from trying to use those weapons on the Prince every time they meet, of course. It just seems like the villains in Prince of Space have the collective memory of a bowl of goldfish. Maybe this is due to the fact that Prince of Space is actually a hybrid of two Japanese tokusatsu films: Planet Prince (1959) and Planet Prince - The Terrifying Spaceship (1959). It certainly explains why Prince of Space seems so jumbled and randomly thrown together. The special effects are a joke (one of the main spaceships literally looks like a giant flying roast chicken), the acting is atrocious, and the narrative is slapdash and disconcerting. And then, of course, there is the evil Phantom of Krankor. If you remember three things about Prince of Space, it will be the Phantom's laugh, his chicken nose, and his disturbingly tight pants. Well...I guess that not all sci-fi villains can be Darth Vader...
3/10
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